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Where Will You Live Next? – Ryan Frederick

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Retirement Wisdom · Nov 8, 2021 ·

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There are many decisions to make in planning for retirement and a big one is where to live. Are you interested in a retirement community or plan to age in place? Will you move to be closer to family members or downsize to a place with the “livability” factors you want? What will be the right place for you? Ryan Frederick, the author of the new book Right Place, Right Time joins us to share his insights.

We discuss:

Why he chose to live in a retirement community in his 20s – and what he learned from that
Why Place is so important
How the pandemic is changing how people think about where we choose to live
A case study from his book and the lesson it highlights
The key factors (like livability) that make a place the right place for someone
The pros and cons to be aware of if you plan to age in place
How Design Thinking can help people choose the right place to live next
His advice for couples
His personal experience in moving his family to Austin.
The key trends shaping where – and how – we’ll be living in the future

Ryan joins us from Austin.

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Bio

Ryan Frederick is the Founder & CEO of SmartLiving 360 and the author of the new book Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life.

Ryan is focused on the intersection of healthy aging and the role of place, including housing. SmartLiving 360 helps institutions and individuals thrive in the Age of Longevity by providing consulting services, real estate development services, and consumer content.

Ryan is recognized as a national thought leader and innovator in the real estate development and healthcare services industries and is a keynote speaker, instructor, author, and blogger. His work and insights have been cited in Forbes, The Washington Post, and Environments for Aging, among other outlets. His real estate development in Rockville, MD, The Stories at Congressional Plaza, is an age-friendly apartment community that has attracted national attention. Mr. Frederick is a member of the National Advisory Board for the School of Nursing at Johns Hopkins University, a member of the AgingWell Hub, a collaborative of leading innovative providers in the field of aging led by Phillips, and has been appointed to the Advisory Council of the Bipartisan Policy Center Health and Housing Task Force. He is a 2018-2019 Encore Public Voices Fellow.

Mr. Frederick is a graduate of Princeton University and the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

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For More on Ryan Frederick

Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life

Blog

The University of Michigan Study on Purpose and Longevity mentioned on the podcast

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Wise Quotes

On the Importance of the Right Place

“It makes it easier to be socially connected, be physically active, be financially secure for a longer life. And then it has a direct effect because in some cases you may be in a physical place that you might be emotionally connected to or not. Or you might have some physical limitations and you may find a place that may not be appropriate for you. So I think it’s so important that Place should be on the same level as eating well, exercising, and financially planning for longevity. It’s right up there as we think about planning for a longer life. And it starts with a vision of what you want your life to look like. And then how does Place help enable that to happen?”

On Happiness and Longevity

“When you look at the research of a longer life, and we don’t hear this much in the media, but there’s something called the U-shaped Happiness Curve based on people’s self-reporting of their well-being and happiness. You’re at a certain level in your 20s, then you kind of go down for a stretch. And then your late 40s, early 5os is the nadir in the US. I like to think it’s correlated to having teenagers in the house. And then it goes up and there’s a pretty steep, upward slope to the point in your 70s and 80s, when you’re happier than you were in your 20s. So this idea that you’re happier later, and that people that are able to live that long, is not part of the narrative we find in our popular culture. It seems much more about youth. So I think one of the first things is to take a step back and just envision, What do you want these future chapters to look like? And the planning is worth it. It is one of the key elements here. So as you think about financial planning for a longer life, what is that visioning planning that you have? That’s where it starts. And I encourage people to really think big about this.”

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Are You Ready for The New Long Life? – Andrew Scott

Design Your Life and Get Unstuck – Dave Evans

The Future You – Brian David Johnson

Are You in the Driver’s Seat? – Cindy Cox-Roman

Why Retirement is About Much More Than Money – Ted Kaufman & Bruce Hiland

What Can You Do to Age Better? – Anna Dixon

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Related Blog Post

Where to Retire? Think Livability

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About Retirement Wisdom

You haven’t worked this hard for so long to have a mediocre post-career life.

It’s your time. Make your new life special.

Work one-on-one with our Certified Designing Your Life Coach to explore alternative visions of your future and develop the pathway that’s right for you.

Take the first step toward your next life. Schedule a free call to discuss our programs and what’s right for you.

Retirement Wisdom · Nov 3, 2021 ·

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When you’re learning something new, it’s helpful to understand both theory and practice. Planning for retirement is no exception. What can we learn about life in retirement from those who planned well for retirement (and wrote excellent books about it) – and are now living it?

In this new installment of a series of panel discussions with our most popular previous guests, we’re joined by Fritz Gilbert, Dr. Barbara O’Neill, and Mark Shaiken (you’ll find their bios below).

We discuss:

Their lessons learned about life in retirement so far
How they’re investing their time now versus their full-time working years
What do they know now that they wished they did then
What they learned about themselves by writing a book about retirement
The ingredients for a Good Life today
Their advice for pre-retirees who are planning for retirement now

Dr. Barbara O’Neill joins us from Florida, Fritz Gilbert from Georgia, and Mark Shaiken from Colorado.

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Bios

Fritz Gilbert is the author of The Keys to a Successful Retirement. He retired after more than three decades in corporate America, where he progressed through the various levels of a multinational corporation serving the global aluminum industry. His award-winning blog “The Retirement Manifesto” is focused on people achieving a great retirement. Fritz and his wife, Jackie, live in a cabin in Blue Ridge, Georgia, an Appalachian Mountain town where they’re active in their local church and various local charities, including Jackie’s charity Freedom for Fido (FreedomForFido.com). When he’s not writing, Fritz enjoys spending his time outdoors and is an avid fly fisherman, mountain biker, hiker, camper, photographer, and fitness fanatic. He also cherishes his daily walks in the woods with their four dogs, who run the household. Fritz and Jackie also travel cross country in their RV to visit their daughter and her family in the Pacific Northwest.

Previous Visits:

The Keys To A Successful Retirement – Fritz Gilbert

The Soft Side of Retirement – Fritz Gilbert, The Retirement Manifesto

Website

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Barbara O’Neill, Ph.D, CFP®, CRPC®, AFC, CHC, CFEd, CFCS, CPFFE, is the author of Flipping the Switch: Your Guide to Happiness and Financial Security in Later Life.

As the owner/CEO of Money Talk: Financial Planning Seminars and Publications, Dr. Barbara O’Neill, CFP®, AFC®, CRPC®, writes, speaks, and reviews content about personal finance. A Distinguished Professor Emeritus at Rutgers University, after 41 years of service as a Rutgers Cooperative Extension educator and personal finance specialist, Dr. O’Neill has written over 160 articles for academic publications and received more than 35 national awards and over $1.2 million in grants to support her financial education programs and research.

Employed by Rutgers since 1978, she provided national leadership for the Cooperative Extension programs Investing For Your Future and Small Steps to Health and Wealth™ for over a decade. Part of her work time is bought out to provide personal finance training for military family service professionals (for the eXtension Military Families Learning Network) and for New Jersey financial educators as part of a state Department of Education contract.

She is also the author of two trade books, Saving On a Shoestring and Investing On A Shoestring, and co-author of Money Talk: A Financial Guide for Women.

She is a certified financial planner (CFP®), chartered retirement planning counselor (CRPC®), accredited financial counselor (AFC), certified housing counselor (CHC), and certified financial educator (CFEd). She also holds the CFCS (certified in family and consumer sciences) and CPFEE (certified personal and family finance educator) credentials from the American Association of Family & Consumer Sciences (AAFCS).

Dr. O’Neill received her Ph.D. in family financial management from Virginia Tech, a master’s degree in consumer economics from Cornell University, and a bachelor’s degree in home economics education from the State University of New York (SUNY) at Oneonta. She has received over three dozen awards for personal or program excellence, including a 2016 AAFCS Distinguished Service Award, and over $1 million in grants and contract funding to support her financial education programs and research. In 2003, she served as president of the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education (AFCPE).

From 1996-2000, Dr. O’Neill directed the five-year MONEY 2000™ Cooperative Extension savings and debt reduction campaign in the 1990s that resulted in over $20 million of documented economic impact nationwide. In addition, she has delivered almost 300 national/regional conference presentations throughout her career and over 70 webinars for eXtension, AAFCS, and other professional organizations. In addition to being an AAFCS board member from 2016-2019, she serves as Academic Editor of the Financial Planning Association’s Journal of Financial Planning. Dr. O’Neill is an avid Twitter user and tweets personal finance information and research findings using the handle @moneytalk1

Previous Visit:

When Will You Flip the Switch? – Dr. Barbara O’Neill

Website

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Forty-one years in the law and then one day, no more law, just like that.

After retirement, Mark Shaiken authored: And… Just Like That: Essays on a life before, during, and after the law. Mark is a survivor of a decades-long career in the corporate bankruptcy trenches. He sat for 10 years on his law firm’s board of directors and was a member of its strategic planning committee. He holds his B.A. from Haverford College and received his J.D. from Washburn University. He is a graduate of the Colorado Business Committee for the Arts’ Leadership Arts program. He holds seats on Art Boards, sits on Habitat for Humanity, Metro Denver’s audit and finance committee, and is a member of the Downtown Denver Partnership’s Mobility and Housing Councils. He now measures his life by what he gives and enjoys that immensely. Mark has published his second book Fresh Start a bankruptcy novel.

Check out the book trailer

Previous Visit:

A Second Act after The Law – Mark Shaiken

Website

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Wise Quotes

On Purpose

“I looked at five years out as sort of a trajectory assessment point. It was hard to imagine at that point what my life would be like if I wasn’t going to be a lawyer anymore. And I look at that as an opportunity to sort of look at what my career was and decide whether this is my career was plateaued, whether it was going to continue in an upward mode, whether it was starting to trend downward because in a law firm, eventually everyone plateaus. And then there’s a trajectory downward, which may also exist in corporate America, but it’s palpable in a law firm. There was a point at which things just naturally start to happen in a law firm. And the older population in the firm is going to start to trend downward and the younger population is moving up in the ranks, which is all good and natural. But the trajectory for me was important because if you’re resisting the trending downward, then you’re also potentially resisting the notion of thinking through what you will do next in life. If you’re at the top of the world or in that case, the top of the law firm, and you’ve plateaued, you’re going to be there for a while. You don’t tend to necessarily think about all of that, but I think it is important to step back and say, I’m going to start trending downward. I’m going to start to scale back on the number of hours I really want to spend as a lawyer. And what does all that mean? And it’s better to have that discussion with yourself when things are going great…So in other words, on your own terms, have that discussion. And the one year out for me, the one year out was to really get much more serious about what I was going to be doing thereafter. So I guess from five years out to one year out, I was able to start to focus a lot more on the things that I use, an overused phrase, the things that would give me purpose.” – Mark Shaiken

On Planning How You’ll Invest Your Time

“I think one thing that people should kind of look at is just thinking what a typical day will look like for them. And I think many people don’t do that and they leave the workforce and they have no idea what they’re going to do. So the more you can be thinking about what is that structure that Fritz was talking about the structured time and the unstructured time. What are some things you’re going to fit into that? I think that would make for a much easier transition because I’ve seen a number of people here in my community that just seem kind of adrift. And I don’t think they really took the time to think about what they would be doing once they left the workforce.” – Dr. Barbara O’Neill

“Recognize that the non-financial areas need as much planning as the financial. Most people focus on the financials. You have to have the financials – they’re necessary, but I would argue they’re not sufficient. You need to do the planning on the non-financial side as well. It’s interesting. Most of this discussion we’ve had is focused on the non-financial aspects because we’re all now retired. And I think once you get into retirement, the financials become less important and the non-financial side arguably becomes more important. But that’s for each individual to determine for themselves. But on the non-financial, one thing that I would add to what Barb said is to make sure, if you’ve got a spouse, you’re looking at it as a partnership. It’s a big change for both of you. make sure you’re talking as you’re preparing for retirement, how are you going to handle it. How much time do you want to have together? How much time do you want to have apart? I call it Me time, We time, and She time in my mind. And it’s basically, you want to have the freedom to go do things that you want to do. She wants to have the freedom to go do the things that she wants to do. And neither one of you should feel guilty about that.” – Fritz Gibert

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Why Retirement is About Much More Than Money – Ted Kaufman & Bruce Hiland

Advice for Successful Career Women Transitioning to Retirement – Helen Dennis

The Future You – Brian David Johnson

Your Retirement Won’t Come with a Road Map – Carol Hymowitz

Ready to ROAR? – Michael Clinton

If You Love Your Work, What Challenges Will You Face in Retirement? – Michelle Pannor Silver

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About Retirement Wisdom

You haven’t worked this hard for so long to have a mediocre post full-time career life.

Get the most of this time of your life.

Work one-on-one with our Certified Designing Your Life Coach to explore alternative visions of your future and develop the pathway that’s right for you.

Take the first step toward your next life. Schedule a free call.

Retirement Wisdom · Nov 1, 2021 ·

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Is it time to make the healthy lifestyle changes that perhaps you’ve been putting off? Our guest is Glen Robison, author of Healthy Dad, Sick Dad. The book’s subtitle says it all: What Good Is Your Wealth If You Don’t Have Your Health?

We discuss:

The story behind his two Dads – and what lessons he took from them
How your lifestyle choices affect your health
The most important lifestyle factors to zero in on
The biggest changes he’s made personally
Yin and Yang foods – and how to achieve the optional balance
His go-to recommend resources

He joins us from Arizona.

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Bio

In Healthy Dad, Sick Dad, Dr. Glen N. Robison shares his personal journey with two very similar fathers who ended up in drastically different retirements. Determined to understand why, Dr. Robison studied his healthy father’s lifestyle and emulated it for fifteen years, with dramatic improvements to his own health. Now, he shares the secrets of living toward a long, healthy life.

Dr. Glen N. Robison is Diplomate of the American Board of Multiple Specialties in Podiatry Board Certified in Primary Care in Podiatric Medicine. Dr. Robison is a Jin Shin Jyutsu practitioner and certified Myopractor, trained in releasing deep restrictions of motion in the body that resides at the root of our symptoms and ailments. Having applied the principles found in this book for over fifteen years, he has expanded his practice to include dietary approaches that address everything from fungal infections to diabetes.

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Wise Quotes

On Adopting a Healthy Diet

“I think part of the challenge here, at least it appears to me, is that medicine today is about how a pill makes a quick fix. Work takes a little bit of a long time, but perhaps is more sustaining over a course of a lifetime. Right out of my residency, I was in my first year in practice, and I was on the go, go, go. I was trying to pay off the student loans. I was starting a family. I was trying to pay down the debt. And so I was running on willpower. I was running on adrenaline. And so I gravitated to the social things of life, the quick energy, high-sugary food type things. And over a course of time, it really started to take a toll on me. And so when I couldn’t get out of bed and because of my back was hurting so bad and I realized, man, being young in practice, I didn’t have any health insurance. Nothing. I was like, what am I doing? And so surgery wasn’t an answer for me. I didn’t want to get cut on. I know my sick dad had back surgery. I didn’t want to follow down his road. So I was directed to my healthy dad. And I remember when he worked on me and he made a comment: Man, you’re like a dang bag of potatoes. You’re so stiff. In order to really fully get you to where you need to be, you’re going to have to change what you eat. And that didn’t make sense to me. I said I’m just here for my back. I just need to get my back fixed. But it took a couple of years of him talking to me and telling me that you really have to change what you eat.”

On Emotions & Health

“I’ve learned how to engage my emotions to hold me in check, meaning that anger, grief, frustration, resentment, all these things, have a direct effect on our health. Grief and worry are directly related to diabetes. And so I could tell you a story right there that I’ve experienced, I had with worry and grief, that can elevate your blood sugars. And so I’ve been more attuned to the emotions and have learned to just be more trusting, be more forgiving, be more loving, and not take in these harsh, emotional elements that I’ve incorporated into my life.”

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For More on Dr. Glen Robison

Healthy Dad Sick Dad: What Good Is Your Wealth If You Don’t Have Your Health?

Learn more at www.liveitlifestyles.com

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Podcast Episodes You May Be Interested In

Take Charge of Your Well-Being – John La Puma, MD

Smarter Tomorrow – Elizabeth Ricker

The Mind-Body Connection and The Rabbit Effect – Kelli Harding

How to Make Healthy Lifestyle Choices – Alan Carpenter

Can You Grow Younger? – Marta Zaraska

The Joy of Movement – Kelly McGonigal

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About Retirement Wisdom

You haven’t worked this hard for so long to have a mediocre post-career life.

It’s your time. Make your new life special.

Work one-on-one with our Certified Designing Your Life Coach to explore alternative visions of your future and develop the pathway that’s right for you.

Take the first step toward your next life. Schedule a free call.

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Retirement Wisdom Podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of the host or Retirement Wisdom, LLC. The Retirement Wisdom Podcast covers the non-financial aspects of retirement. From time to time we may invite guests who discuss other aspects of retirement planning, solely for educational purposes. Listeners are advised to consult qualified financial and/or medical professionals on those matters.

Retirement Wisdom · Oct 25, 2021 ·

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You’ll face a myriad of decisions in planning for retirement. Wade Pfau has written a comprehensive guide to help you prepare well, financially and otherwise. He joins us to discuss how to fortify your retirement planning and decision-making.

We discuss:

How he became interested in studying retirement and retirement planning
The key risks to manage in planning for retirement
Why the traditional concept of retirement is increasingly unaffordable – and what to do instead
His views on the 4% rule
The roles that annuities and reverse mortgages can play in retirement planning
The pros and cons of working longer
What to consider in deciding where to live in retirement
The non-financial aspects of transitioning to retirement – and special challenges for introverts
How to assess your preparedness for retirement

Wade joins us from Dallas.

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Bio

Wade D. Pfau, PhD, is Professor of Retirement Income in the Ph.D. in Financial and Retirement Planning program, Co-Director of the New York Life Center for Retirement Income, and RICP^® program director at The American College of Financial Services.

Pfau is a co-editor of the Journal of Personal Finance. He has spoken at national conferences of organizations for financial professionals such as the CFA Institute, FPA, NAPFA, AICPA-PFP, and AFS. He also publishes frequently in a wide variety of academic and practitioner research journals. He hosts the Retirement Researcher blog, and is a monthly columnist for Advisor Perspectives, a RetireMentor for MarketWatch, a contributor to Forbes, and an Expert Panelist for The Wall Street Journal. His research has been discussed in outlets that include print editions of The Economist, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Money Magazine.

Pfau was a selectee for the InvestmentNews “Power 20” in 2013 and “40 Under 40” in 2014, the Investment Advisor 35 list for 2015, the IA 25 list for 2014, and Financial Planning magazine’s Influencer Awards. He is a two-time winner of the Journal of Financial Planning Montgomery-Warschauer Award, a two-time winner of the Academic Thought Leadership Award from the Retirement Income Industry Association, and a best paper award winner in the retirement category from the Academy of Financial Services.

Pfau holds a doctorate in economics and a master’s degree from Princeton University, and bachelor of arts and bachelor of science degrees from the University of Iowa. He is also a Chartered Financial Analyst^®(CFA^®).

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For More on Wade Pfau

Retirement Planning Guidebook: Navigating the Important Decisions for Retirement Success

Retirement Researcher Website

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Wise Quotes

On Risks

“Risks fall into a few different categories. Longevity risk is worth mentioning first, and it’s a good thing in a way. You don’t know how long you’re going to live, and you might live a very long time, which is wonderful, but just on the financial side, it’s expensive to live a long time. You have to fund your retirement for more and more years. So longevity risks really is the overarching risk, and you’ve got the different types of market risk and market volatility, interest rates that are changing, and so forth, just market-related risks and inflation could be part of that as well. But even a low inflation rate over a long retirement can really compound over time. And then everything else really falls into the category of spending shocks. Which is you may have a reasonable baseline budget that you anticipate, but just the unexpected events that happen outside of that, or you may have a sense of something that may or may not happen like a big healthcare bill, having to pay for long-term care, having to care for other family members in an unexpected way. Anything that just relates to having to pay more than you anticipated is an additional spending shock.”

On Preparing for the Non-financial Side of Retirement

“I think that’s important cause I’ve historically always focused more on the financial side. So to build out the chapter on the non-financial aspects of retirement, I was doing a lot of reading and it always just seemed like, oh, in retirement you have all this extra time. So you’d go join the local social clubs and everything, make all kinds of new friends and move into like the age 55 plus or age 62 plus communities joining all the social activities, go to the dining facilities and meet everyone and just have a wonderful time. And I just kind of started thinking that a lot of people will struggle with all that. And that becomes a part of the idea of moving in retirement, moving as a stressful event, retiring as a stressful event. So for people who are thinking they want to retire and immediately move, you might want to separate that out a little bit to just not have too much happening all at once. And this also becomes an important conversation for couples or partners to consider as well. If one person is more outgoing than the other, maybe one of them is an extrovert. The other is an introvert. They have may have a very different idea about how they want to spend their time in retirement. And whether they do want to join all these social clubs or all these new opportunities, they can have this social engagement with their additional time. Now that they’re not working, does that fit their personality? Is that something that they’re going to want to do and be able to do and enjoy? I think partners in particular need to discuss this in advance to make sure that there’s a plan for things you’ll do together. Things you’ll do separately and make sure people are happy with all those decisions.”

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Other Podcast Episodes You May Like

What Are The Keys To A Successful Retirement? Fritz Gilbert

When Will You Flip the Switch? – Dr. Barbara O’Neill

With the Freedom to Retire, Where Will You Plant Your New Tree? – Don Ezra

Your Retirement Won’t Come with a Road Map – Carol Hymowitz

Are You Ready for The New Long Life? – Andrew Scott

If You Love Your Work, What Challenges Will You Face in Retirement? – Michelle Pannor Silver

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About Retirement Wisdom

You haven’t worked this hard for so long to have a mediocre post-career life.

It’s your time. Make your new life special.

Work one-on-one with our Certified Designing Your Life Coach to explore alternative visions of your future and develop the pathway that’s right for you.

Take the first step toward your next life. Schedule a free call.

____________________________

Retirement Wisdom · Oct 18, 2021 ·

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Can learning from your parents’ mistakes help you age gracefully? In his 50s Steven Petrow began a list of things he was observing that he vowed never to do when he became old. Now in his 60s, he has a different appreciation of his observations. Listen in to a fascinating conversation as Steven shares his humor and insights on making smarter choices to age gracefully.

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Bio

Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and book author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and civility. He’s also an opinion columnist for USA Today, where he writes about civil discourse and manners. Steven’s 2019 TED Talk, “3 Ways to Practice Civility” has been viewed nearly two million times and translated into 16 languages.

Steven’s new book is Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old. He is the author of five other books, the most recent of which is Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners. He’s a much sought-after public speaker, and you’re likely to hear him when you stream NPR or one of your favorite — or least favorite — TV networks. Steven also served as the host and executive producer of “The Civilist,” a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC.

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For More on Steven Petrow

The Book: Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

Steven Petrow’s Website

How To Age Gracefully (The article mentioned by Jane Brody in The New York Times)

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Check out the video library to see what interests you.

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Wise Quotes

On Being a Perrenial

“There are many ideas that were good for a long time – and then they’re not anymore. And then of course there are new ideas that come into vogue – and one of the new ideas that I talk about is this notion of being a perennial. So we’re very divided by our generation. We have the Greatest Generation. We have the Boomers, Millennials, Gen X, Y, and Z. And in a way, those are divisions that keep us apart. And so I like this notion of being a perennial. Anybody can be a perennial, whether you’re 25, 64 like we are, or 85. It’s an attitude. And it’s an attitude of being involved and curious and often having friends of different generations. So this is like a new behavior that we can start to adopt. That is very gratifying. I’ve had the experience several times, especially with multi-generational friends, but also I’m having younger folks really kind of keep me in the swim of what’s happening in life. And I think that’s important to all of us.”

On Adapting

“The thing I saw most, especially I’ll say with my Dad – and I think this is somewhat of a male condition. He was very independent, very stubborn. He always liked to do things his way, and he really did not want assistance in general. And he did not want his three kids to be providing any kind of help – I’ll say it in air quotes. And we were very aware of the sort of family dynamic and the generational dynamic and did not want to be telling our father what to do. Both because we knew that that was futile and that that’s really not how we were approaching these problems, especially when he was falling a lot. So we tried to give him tools and he rejected most of them. And then he continued to fall and he died. He died from a series of falls. And what really struck me was his own father had died from a series of falls. And my Dad had been trying to help his Dad not do that. So in a way, I feel like I have a greater awareness of these issues. And I’m hoping that by having written them down and made a pledge, I will do better. And you know, that I will use that walker when I need the walker, or I will install the grab bar in the shower when I need it. But I also worry that I have this heritage stubbornness in me that may get in the way when the time comes. We’ll see about that. But what really happened was my Dad’s world got smaller by many of the decisions that he made. And we were trying to help him keep an open mind and involved in the world, which mattered so much to him. And that was painful.”

On Values

“We grow up and we work hard and much of the way people are valued in this society is on what’s your job title? How much do you make? What is your house looks like? Sort of these very tangible things. And I often refer to them as resume values. And I’ve seen this shift in myself and I’ve seen a shift in some others. And I think you’re an example of where you kind of move from resume values to – I really like this phrase – eulogy virtues. And those are the kinds of things you would hope that people might say about you when you die. I don’t really want someone to say when I died: Oh, well he was the senior vice-president at this or that. Or he had a three or four-bedroom house. I’m hoping people will say he was kind, he was generous. He liked his friends. He was good to his friends, his family, so on and so forth, whatever those things are. And I think this is kind of the shift in balance that I’m talking about here that becomes more important. It also becomes important for another reason because as we get older, we’re not in the same current professionally as we were when we were in our thirties and forties. And there is ageism in the workplace. And should you lose your job in your fifties or sixties, it’s much more difficult to get another job. And so if we’re defining ourselves against the standard that we had when we were 40, we’re going to come up short. So it also helps us to redefine the standard, how we’re trying to evaluate ourselves to play to our strengths and who we are these days.”

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

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