There are moments when I slap my forehead and exclaim: Why didn’t I think of that? I’m grateful for an email from a listener to the podcast asking why I hadn’t included Falling Upward in my Best Books on Retirement selections. When I returned to school for a masters in Gerontology at the University of Southern California, in my last class, taught by the exceptional Leah Buturain, PhD, we had studied and discussed it in depth – and it had a significant impact on my views of later life. Through the course and our examination of the book, I learned to appreciate the value of accepting and exploring paradox to hold seemingly contradictory ideas in tension, rather than seeking tempting simplistic, right-or-wrong answers. For example, strength and vulnerability – or joy and sorrow – appear to opposites, but upon review, are linked in many ways. If you haven’t read Falling Upward, I hope you will. It’s a meaningful book that can reframe your thinking about the second half of life and your retirement.
Richard Rohr is a Franciscan friar, ordained Catholic priest, and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Born in 1943, he holds a Master of Theology degree and has been a prominent spiritual teacher and author for decades. His work combines elements of Christian mysticism, psychology, and various wisdom traditions.
In Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, he proposes that life can be divided into two distinct halves, each with its own spiritual tasks and challenges. In the first half of life, we focus on building our identity, establishing our place in the world, and creating what he calls the “container” of our lives. This phase is characterized by career growth, expansion, and achievement. It’s a time of graduating from college, forging a career path, building relationships, and for some people starting a family. It’s about solidifying your sense of self and whom you are in the world. Think of David Brooks’ resume values.
The second half of life is where spiritual depth begins to develop. It’s about finding the meaningful human contents that the container was meant to hold. Think of David Brooks’ eulogy values. A key point of the book is the value of letting go of achievement-driven pursuits and embracing humility. Rohr points out that this second phase is not merely chronological. It’s often triggered by some sort of “falling” experience – a failure, a loss, or a tragedy that challenges our worldview. Rohr believes that this “falling” is not just inevitable but it’s necessary for spiritual growth. It’s in facing our fallings and coming to grips with our imperfections that we become fully human.
A big idea in Falling Upward is that our failures and struggles can become stepping stones to a deeper, more authentic self and spirituality. In the second half of life, he believes that we can learn to let go of our carefully constructed identities and begin to discover our true authentic self. In this phase we can embark on a deepening of wisdom, greater awareness and compassion, and a more nuanced understanding of life by embracing vulnerability.
One story in the book highlighted how this works in real life. He shares the example of Japanese soldiers who were struggling with the return to civilian life after war. What was missing was a ritual that marked the passage from pone phase to the next. The creation of a ritual helped mark the transition and helped soldiers let go of the mindset needed to survive wartime and enter a new phase. Similarly, Falling Upward encourages us to let go of the rigid, achievement-oriented mindset of the first half of life to enter a new phase in retirement.
Rohr draws on multiple spiritual traditions and psychological insights to support his arguments. He emphasizes that the journey to spiritual maturity does not come automatically with age. It’s a conscious choice we must make with reflection and purpose. This pivotal decision determines whether our failures lead to spiritual ascent and personal growth or decline. Those who resist “falling upward” opportunities may instead become cynical, driven external ambition, or emotionally detached and withdrawn.
The book is hopeful message for those in the midst of challenging transitions, which Rohr believes are catalysts for profound spiritual and personal growth.
I especially like how Falling Upward uses the Hero’s Journey. It invites us to embrace our whole life story – including own failures and setbacks – as part of our own larger journey toward growth and authenticity through finding strength in vulnerability and humility.
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Read Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr
Explore more Best Books for Retirement
Listen to The Retirement Wisdom Podcast
You may be interested in my conversation with Carol Orsborn, author of Spiritual Aging
