Books Archive

Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

Retirement Wisdom · Mar 24, 2024 ·

by Corey Keyes

What will your life really be like when you retire? It’s a big transition and it often kicks off with a honeymoon period where people experience a delightful sense of freedom from the working life they’ve lived for decades. But all honeymoons come to an end. Then what? Some people who haven’t prepared well for the non-financial side of retirement share that they feel adrift, disconnected and disoriented. They lack a sense of purpose and direction that pickleball and golf won’t making up for.

Languishing is a psychological state between flourishing and depression, which feels like emptiness, stagnation, and lack of drive and motivation. Corey Keyes, a Professor Emeritus of Sociology at Emory University, coined this term to highlight the prevalence of this middle ground where people can struggle with their well-being. This feeling of languishing can negatively impact your daily life, enjoyment, activity level and your overall life satisfaction.

In Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down details what languishing is and what it feels like, along with his assessment to ascertain if you are languishing. The heart of the book is his research-backed “prescription” of five vitamins to help you move from languishing to flourishing. It’s a group of activities that I notice are part of the active, fulfilling retirements I see my clients creating. The activities begin with following your curiosity to learn new things and “rewriting your self-narrative through personal growth.” Next up is cultivating meaningful connections and relationships. The third vitamin is developing your relationship with the spiritual side of life, followed by identifying and living with purpose. Keyes notes that it’s not enough to have a sense of purpose in life, you have to live it. And finally, the fifth vitamin is play – rediscovering joy and fun. This is the area my clients consistently score lowest on in an early Designing Your Exercise. Keyes makes another distinction in describing this vitamin, noting that all leisure is not created equal. Active leisure offers greater value and benefits than passive leisure.

Corey Keyes is a pioneering researcher sharing practical empirically-based solutions that promote flourishing in life. While it’s no substitute for people who should seeking professional support for mental health, his five vitamins offer a roadmap that can kickstart an active and balanced retirement life.

Listen to my podcast conversation with Corey Keyes

Read Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

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Retirement Wisdom · Mar 18, 2024 ·

by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz

Who doesn’t want to live the good life once you retire? But what constitutes the good life?

The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, a New York Times bestseller, offers readers valuable insights into the the levers of happiness and fulfillment uncovered in the longest-running study on adult development – The Grant Study. Leveraging decades of research conducted by the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the authors outline a compelling case that the keys to a fulfilling life lie not in wealth, fame, or possessions, but in the quality of our relationships and our ability to cultivate meaningful connections with others. You may be building the investment portfolio you need to retire, but there’s a social portfolio that will help you thrive.

The core message of the book is that meaningful relationships are the foundation. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which tracked the lives of two groups of men over a span of 75 years, revealed that those who reported having close, supportive relationships were not only happier and healthier, but also lived longer than those who did not. Social connectivity has a major influence on our physical and mental well-being. Research highlights that loneliness and social isolation are significant risk factors for a range of poor health outcomes, including cardiovascular disease, depression, and even early death.

In The Good Life, Waldinger and Schulz urge people to prioritize cultivating authentic connections over superficial, more trivial pursuits. Investing time and energy in nurturing relationships will bring joy, fulfillment, and a sense of belonging to your life in retirement. But in addition to the criticality of relationships, the book explores how personal growth and self-awareness contribute to building a fulfilling life. Adopting practices like mindfulness, gratitude, and self-reflection, can help create a deeper understanding of yourself and others. It’s not about how many Facebook friends you accumulate, it’s about building real-world genuine relationships. And that takes openness, honesty and vulnerability. While that takes risk and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone at times, The Good Life argues that they are risks well taking to create a rich life.

While the primary research cohort was men, this is a thought-provoking book that sheds light on important elements in life in retirement. You’ll come away with an appreciation of both the upsides and downside risks of several lifestyle choices that lie ahead and a series of proactive action steps to consider.

Read The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

Listen to my conversation with Marc Schulz

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Podcast Conversations You May Like

How to Make New Friends in Retirement – Dr. Marisa G. Franco

The Balancing Act in Retirement – Stew Friedman

The Mindful Body – Ellen Langer

Retirement Wisdom · Mar 14, 2024 ·

by Jud Brewer, MD, PhD

It’s no secret that relationships are one of the key elements of a satisfying retirement. But one of your longest running relationships may need a reset – your relationship with food. Getting ready for retirement, and the lifestyle changes that come with that transition, offers a catalyst to build new habits for the life you envision. You’ll have more freedom and more time, so you’ll want to be mindful and intentional about food. It’s an area of life we can take control of and enhance our well-being.

In his new book The Hunger Habit, Dr. Jud Brewer, a renowned psychiatrist and neuroscientist, provides a groundbreaking approach to understanding and revamping eating patterns. He leverages his extensive research and clinical background to unlock how our brains work with food and and how to redesign our habits and relationship with food.

The heart of the book is the practice of “mindful eating,” with a foundation in mindfulness meditation and behavioral psychology. Unlike traditional dieting, this approach doesn’t rely on willpower, which is fickle and unreliable. Instead Dr. Brewer anchors his approach in the underlying psychological workings and thinking that tends to drive cravings and mindless overeating. He takes you back to Psych 101 class to revisit the principles of positive and negative reinforcement and how you can hack and rewire your reward systems to take advantage of intrinsic motivation over external cues. In addition to the compelling science and practical steps that book provides, Dr, Jud shares his own personal experiences and challenges with cravings (a gummy worms addiction), which make the book very relatable.

I especially found his emphasis and on self-compassion and self-acceptance to be very interesting and useful in reframing setbacks through curiosity and kindness. In his view, perfection is not the goal, but the journey includes valuable opportunities for reflection and learning throughout.

The book is structured as a 21-day challenge that starts small and educates you along the way. There’s a well-designed robust companion app for additional resources and support.

It’s a valuable roadmap to kickstarting your new life ahead. The Hunger Habit offers insights that will lead you to think differently about food choices and powerful science-based tools to create sustainable change.

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Listen to my podcast conversation with Dr. Jud Brewer

Buy The Hunger Habit book by Dr. Jud Brewer

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Related Podcast Conversations You May Like

Self-Compassion – Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Body – Ellen Langer

Tiny Habits Can Lead to Big Changes – BJ Fogg

From Wellness to Wonderful – Dr. Alona Pulde & Dr. Matthew Lederman

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Retirement Wisdom · Mar 4, 2024 ·

by Dr. Becca Levy

People tell me I’m getting older and maybe that’s happening to you, too. It’s an important aspect of retirement. You’ll bring many things to your retirement and perhaps the most important will be your attitude. And that includes your attitude towards aging.

If your doctor told you there was a pill that would add over 7 years to your life, would you be interested? Well, there’s not a magic pill, but something simpler – your beliefs about aging. In Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live, Becca Levy, a psychologist, epidemiologist and professor at the Yale, shares groundbreaking research that found a 7.5 year difference in lifespan between those who held positive views on getting older versus those who had negative beliefs about aging.

And you need to work on those positive beliefs because in our society today, ageism is everywhere. Stereotypes about age are insidious, and can be encountered at work, at your doctor’s office, the pharmacy, the grocery story and even in interacting with friends and family. And the research shows that it takes a toll – on mental, emotional and physical health, cognitive ability and overall well-being. Dr. Levy shares data and case studies on the damaging effects of negative perceptions of aging and how they can shape self-perception and behavior and accelerate decline over time.

But beyond the compelling research, which is sure to get your attention, Breaking the Age Code offers strategies for individuals and institutions. There are practical and specific ways recommended to foster positive beliefs and public policy solutions to combat ageism and create a more equitable world.

It’s easy to spot ageism in others. If you’re like me, you’ll find the book leads you to reflect on our own beliefs about aging and identify how societal ageism may have a more subtle effect on our thinking than we may realize.

Becca Levy’s research is substantial and significant. Breaking the Age Code is a powerful wake up call and a must-read if, like me, you’re getting older.

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Buy Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live by Dr. Becca Levy

Listen to my podcast conversation with Dr. Becca Levy here

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Listen to The Retirement Wisdom Podcast here

Retirement Wisdom · Feb 19, 2024 ·

by Elisabeth Sharp McKetta

What do you do after you design your life? Elizabeth Sharp McKetta has a great idea: edit your life. I read over 60 books last year and this is the by far best book I read.

McKetta describes it as an “organizing book for the soul” and while it’s not about retirement specifically, that event could be a timely catalyst for this impactful book. A talented editor brings out the best in a writer’s work, sharpens it’s focus and illuminates it’s essence. This book helps you do the same with your life.

Edit Your Life presents a powerful process to reflect on your life and make targeted edits to amplify your satisfaction. The book is organized three parts. Part One entails examining your life with an eye toward the possibilities of what it could become and a look at what is needed. Part Two immerses you in the editing process. You’ll edit for clarity, growth and generosity. In Part Three you put your edits into action in your daily life and focus on enjoyment.

Along the way, McKetta introduces a number of compelling and useful ideas. One of my favorites is First Choices or “painless long shots.” When you’re considering making a change or choosing a new pursuit, don’t settle. Set your sights higher and start with the best option. Another is her idea of following the wisdom of the seasons. Clarify what’s necessary for each season and take full advantage of the unique offerings of each one. This a great concept for the seasons of the year and for the seasons of life as well.

Edit Your Life is a wonderful and practical book that emphasizes looking at what’s necessary and what’s possible. It’s a valuable resource for people considering what’s next?

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Buy Edit Your Life by Elisabeth Sharp McKetta

Listen to my podcast conversation with Elisabeth Sharp McKetta here

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Book summaries you may be interested in:

Designing Your Life