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Why Do We Need Reminders of What Matters Most?

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By Joe Casey

A colleague, executive coaching client, and friend died two weeks ago. He was suddenly stricken with an illness, fought valiantly, but, sadly, died three months later.

One week before his retirement date.

One month before his 69th birthday.

His brother delivered the eulogy at his funeral and spoke about how he had been looking forward to being able to spend the whole summer at his beach house, for the first time in his life. He had bought a new convertible, parked right outside, to make the most of it. He had put his retirement off, several times.

Listening to the eulogy, you heard a story of a life well led. There was a clear arc from humble beginnings and through perseverance, life-long learning;  professional success. Most of all,  there were long-term commitments and relationships with family and friends. He was a devoted husband and father.

He had done things right in preparing for his retirement. He had planned, saved and invested wisely. And he was a man of purpose and conviction. He was not one who spoke about purpose, he was one who walked the talk. He had changed his career ten years ago at 58 from financial services to health care. In preparation, he had gone back to school and earned a Master’s degree in the field. He then went to work at a not-for-profit organization in the substance abuse rehabilitation field, an area that he was deeply passionate about.

If you follow Retirement Wisdom on Twitter, you know that we follow the literature on retirement closely. There’s no shortage of articles on longevity, working longer and even never retiring each week. Lots of stats and projections of increased life expectancy and longer careers.

We all know that there are no guarantees. But standing in the pouring rain at the funeral of a colleague, client and friend, I wonder why we sometimes need a reminder to return our focus to what matters most. At least, I do.

Carpe diem.

 

Joe Casey is an executive coach and retirement coach with Retirement Wisdom®.

Follow us on Twitter @RetiremntWisdom and connect on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/joecasey21

Is Your Attitude in Shape for Retirement?

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By Joe Casey

There’s a lot of uncertainty we face in planning for retirement. On the financial side, we can’t control the direction of the markets, interest rates or unexpected events (Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!). On the non-financial side, there are important questions to resolve (Where will we live? What will we do?) and many things we can’t fully control, like our health and longevity. There is one thing we can control in retirement – our attitude.

In my HR career, I  remember meeting with an internal client who prominently displayed a sign on his desk that was impossible to miss: Attitude is Everything. It rang true then, and still does today. A great conversation with Fritz Gilbert (The Retirement Manifesto) helped me appreciate what a difference it can make in transitioning to retirement.

Retirement brings opportunities and choices, along with challenges and losses. What makes a difference in pursuing the former and persevering through the latter? The attitude you adopt. How you look at things essentially determines how you experience them. If you have an opportunity to talk with former colleagues who’ve retired, you’ll see it right away. (I had dinner with two just last night). Listen to how they describe their life in retirement. Most, if not all, have faced some sort of challenge. It’s a funny thing though. Often, the ones who have had the most difficult challenges describe their experiences differently. You can hear it and feel it in their attitude. They are more resilient. There’s a different outlook – and it matters.

You may be thinking, “Some people have always been that way.” True. But the change of pace in the transition to retirement can test even the best attitudes. There’s an adjustment period. It is one of those rare times in life where you really do come upon a fork in the road.  You can make different choices. It’s up to you. It can be a real turning point. (Despite Yogi Berra’s advice).

You may discover that the attitude that helped make you successful in your working years needs some fine-tuning in your retirement years. With a significant shift in how you spend your time, this can be important. How do you ensure that your attitude is in the right shape for retirement? If you’d like to adopt the type of attitude that will be helpful to you (and to the people you care about) there’s a great place to start.

A Matter of Attention 

Begin with gratitude. It doesn’t take much time and it can pay huge dividends.

Gratitude is a practice of taking time to notice, acknowledge and appreciate the good in life. Three Good Things ,developed by Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, is a simple daily practice that’s very effective. Keeping a daily gratitude journal is another. It changes what you pay attention to. After a while, you’ll automatically begin to look for the good – and savor it more.

Why work on gratitude? It’s extremely good for you. A 2018 study by Robustelli and Whisman found that higher levels of overall life satisfaction were correlated with higher levels of gratitude. And in times of loss and adversity, Chopik et al. (2017) found that gratitude can help people see and appreciate the positive sides of life and it encourages greater resilience.

And it might just be a game-changer. Why? Psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson notes that positive emotions “broaden and build” and can create an “Upward Spiral” of other positive emotions, in contrast to negative emotions which can narrow our range.

Prepare for the Soft Side of Retirement

We had a great discussion recently with Fritz Gilbert for our podcast. Fritz is a corporate commodity trader, who is just weeks away from a well-researched and well-planned early retirement at 55. He created his outstanding blog, The Retirement Manifesto, three years ago. At first, he focused primarily on the monetary aspects of creating financial independence and early retirement (FIRE). Over time, he’s written many excellent pieces of the “softer” side of retirement emphasizing how important it is to proactively plan for both sides of retirement. I often retweet his work – it is exceptional and practical. I highly recommend his post on The Ten Commandments of Retirement. You’ll benefit greatly by following his posts.

Listen to our discussion with Fritz on The Retirement Conversation podcast to hear his insights on the softer side of retirement planning. In addition to his wisdom and useful ideas, you can hear and feel his attitude. I  sense that it is one of the most important assets he’s bringing to his retirement. It might give you some ideas on continuing to cultivate your own so you’re in good shape for retirement.

Fritz Gilbert, @RetireManifesto, joins The Retirement Conversation podcast:  Listen here.

 

References

Chopik, W. J., Newton, N. J., Ryan, L. H., Kashdan, T. B., & Jarden, A. J. (2017). Gratitude across the life span: Age differences and links to subjective well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 1-11.

Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Positive emotions broaden and build. In Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 47, pp. 1-53). Academic Press.

Robustelli, B. L., & Whisman, M. A. (2018). Gratitude and life satisfaction in the United States and Japan. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(1), 41-55.

Who’s Your Retirement Role Model?

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by Joe Casey

Will you be reinventing retirement? Retirement today is drastically different than it was in earlier generations. You know the drill. Pensions are a relic of the distant past, for most of us. We’ve heard about them and there’s probably a compelling museum exhibit somewhere on them –  but they are not part of our reality.

Longer Lives, Longer Retirements

There’s also greater longevity. This one cuts both ways. Saving for retirement today requires investing more – and earlier – to fund what is likely to be a far longer time in retirement. But it’s also a great potential opportunity. Rather than retreating to the rocking chair on the front porch of yesteryear, today’s retirees are likely to have the time and space to be active longer, to continue learning and to carve out Second or Third careers on a part-time basis. It’s a new era and it’s (mostly) exciting, but there are challenges. Retirement today means navigating uncharted waters.

Build Your Own Road Map

Our guest on The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, Dr. Thelma Reese, notes that all of this change creates a dearth of role models for retirement, for both men and women.  We can no longer look to previous generations for the pathways. We have to create our own.

Who is Your Role Model for Retirement?

Dr. Reese, the co-author of two excellent books on reinventing your life in retirement (one for women and one for men), thinks we are our own best role models.

Personally, I agree. I think we can be our own role models by continually looking for attributes and behaviors in others that we can thoughtfully incorporate into ourselves. These examples can come from many sources, starting with people we know best. What parts would you emulate and make your own?

Thelma Reese and many of the people profiled in her books are also great sources of wisdom. If you are still working and contemplating retirement, one of the smartest moves you can make is to spend some time with former colleagues who have retired to hear about their experiences and lessons learned. Get some lunches scheduled and catch up.

I think it’s also important to keep an eye out for attributes and behaviors that you don’t want. While these can also come from people we know, they can also come from literature and movies. For me, there are some things about John Updike’s character Rabbit that I want to avoid (mainly constantly consuming Peanut M&M’s). I’d also like to avoid the “Get Off My Lawn” mindset portrayed so well by Bill Murray’s character in St. Vincent and Clint Eastwood’s in Gran Torino (although their transformation toward mentoring is great to emulate).

I’m Still Going Old School

But for me, becoming my own retirement role model takes me – ironically – back to my maternal grandparents. Their love of life and family, their sense of humor, and their ability to get the most out of the small pleasures of life will be my starting points.

Listen here for a great Retirement Wisdom Podcast conversation with Thelma Reese. She shares her insights on a range of topics you’ll find of interest (and she has a great sense of humor).

In closing, I’d like to give an unsolicited recommendation – if you’re looking for a unique and valuable Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gift, her books – The New Senior Woman: Reinventing the Years Beyond Mid-Life and The New Senior Man: Exploring New Horizons, New  Opportunities are home runs.

Joe Casey is a former senior HR executive who is now an executive coach and retirement coach.

Outdated Principles on Retirement on Your Belief Window?

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By Joe Casey

They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. But sometimes the teacher shows up early and plants a seed.

Twenty-five years ago, I was introduced to a concept that I wasn’t ready to grasp. I was in my mid-thirties, a mid-level HR manager on the way up, with two kids and a long To-Do list. Big plans. Busy schedule. Many irons in the fire. Getting lots of things done. A whirling dervish. You know the type.

Are You Open to a New Idea?

One day, my manager and her manager asked if I’d meet with Hyrum Smith, who was then CEO of the company that made Franklin Day Planners, which we used in a big way in our company. They wanted my opinion on a new idea he had that may be useful in our management training programs. Would I hear him out and opine on how it would fly with our managers?

It was great to meet Hyrum and hear his new idea. He explained that we all have a belief window through which we view the world. Think of it as an invisible windshield in front of your face. On the windshield, we have our beliefs and principles and they alter our view of the world. The problem comes when some of our principles become outdated or inappropriate to our circumstances. They can distort our vision. It’s like trying to drive in a heavy downpour with broken windshield wipers. It’s hard to get an accurate view of what’s in front of you.

I believe I was very polite,  but my reply was that I didn’t think it wouldn’t be right for our managers. (I believe I was thinking about my next three meetings and my To-Do list and starting to hyperventilate).

The truth is I wasn’t ready for the concept.

I was a complete dolt. It took a while for it to dawn on me (years, actually) that my managers didn’t need my opinion on this idea. They thought it was an idea I needed to hear.  Once I finally got it, this became a valuable concept.

Over time, I got used to asking myself “Am I seeing this situation accurately? Or is it because of an incorrect principle or outdated belief on my windshield?” In my primary career, it helped me become more open, less defensive, and start to build a broader perspective beyond my To-Do list.  Today, I often recommend it to my executive coaching clients.

 

What Incorrect Principles Can People Have About Retirement?

Sometimes, we haven’t always reflected on what our beliefs are about retirement. And sometimes they are outdated or incorrect. Here are some that I hear:

 

1. “I Just Need Financial Security”

For years, the message has been clear. People are not saving enough for retirement. Pensions are a relic of the past. Social Security may not be there for you. You’re on your own. Many people have heeded these warnings and diligently saved and wisely invested for their retirement. Yet, this can still be an incorrect principle on the windshield. How? It’s necessary, but not sufficient. You have to plan for how you’ll manage both your money and your time in retirement. Since retirements today can last 20 to 30 years or more, the time element presents an enormous opportunity – or a big risk.

2. “I’m in Control of the Timing of Retirement”

Picture your Retirement as a 4-year-old with his or her hands on the hips, defiantly explaining to you that “You’re not the boss of me!”

In some ways, that can be true. One of those ways is when you retire. There are often circumstances beyond your control that may lead you, or even force you, to retire far earlier than planned. According to the 2017 Retirement Confidence Survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute, 48 % of retirees surveyed retired earlier than planned, mostly due to hardships, illness, caregiving or downsizing.

Keep in mind that you may not be the boss of the timing of your retirement.

3. “I’ll Figure It Out As I Go”

After a long career, kicking back for a while is appealing. After all, you deserve a break. The question is: How long a break?  Without a solid plan on how you’ll start to invest your time, it’s easy to drift. After a while, the vacation mindset can become your default mode. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it can make your transition harder, if you do decide that work, in some way, is part of your life in retirement. It’s better to stay engaged in some way, leverage your contacts and experience while they are still fresh. You can always leverage a freelance project, consulting role, or volunteer opportunity down the road. While you’re immersed in your primary career, the idea of simply not working is seductive. But as the saying goes, it’s not what you retire from, it’s what you retire to that matters most. It’s a better idea to think that through a bit before you jump. You can be the boss of how you use your time in retirement.

 4. “My Spouse/Partner Wants the Same Things I Do”

We think we know our partners well. And we probably do. But it’s easy to forget that they change too. When you’re leading busy lives, it’s easy to not be fully in synch with their hopes and dreams.

In their excellent book Refire! Don’t Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz point out that partners may often be at very different phases of life and want very different things in the retirement years. One may be interested in more travel and leisure while the other, after having taken primary responsibility for child-rearing, may now be ready for more career or achievement type of pursuits. It’s important to discuss this openly, without any assumptions getting in the way.

 

The Takeaway

There’s a clear pattern here. All of these incorrect principles are based on assumptions that were probably correct and useful at an earlier time. But if they’re not updated as things change, they can become obstacles. It’s like trying to run your iPhone 8 on IOS 2.3.

What beliefs do you have that might be ready for a Software Update?

 

Postscript

After I started writing this, I discovered that Hyrum Smith recently published a new book, Purposeful Retirement. I’ll be reading it shortly and will post a review on our website. It’s safe to say that I’ll be trying to absorb his wisdom right away this time around.

Joe Casey is an executive coach and retirement coach who also helps people think through and create their Second Acts, at retirementwisdom.com

References

Lisa Greenwald, Craig Copeland, and Jack VanDerhei, “The 2017 Retirement Confidence Survey—Many Workers Lack Retirement Confidence and Feel Stressed About Retirement Preparations,” EBRI Issue Brief, no. 431 (Employee Benefit Research Institute, March 21, 2017).

Are You Headed for a Zombie Retirement?

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By Joe Casey

Is a purposeful retirement life part of your retirement planning? When people think of retirement planning, most focus on the financial side. It’s critical. But retirement is not just about money. It’s also about time. What will your retired life be like?

In my work, I see smart people who nail the financial side, yet put off the non-financial side. They’re financially flying first-class in retirement – but they find themselves living in the equivalent of a middle seat in the last row of coach.

Why?

Because getting it right – on both sides – can appear deceptively simple, but it can be easily put off. Until, you find that you’ve drifted off into retirement. You have enough money, lots of time and, after awhile, more boredom than you expected.

There’s a cost of not planning for both sides of retirement. You could find yourself becoming a zombie.

Different Mindsets

Planning for both sides of the retirement equation takes different mindsets. On the financial side, you have to think conservatively and in a linear fashion. It’s a left-brain thing. Increasingly, many of the investment decisions for retirement tend toward the auto-pilot mode. While it is certainly complex, auto-pilot makes it sound so easy. 

  • Automatic enrollment in a 401(k) plan.
  • Target date funds.
  • Robo Advisers.
  • Passive investing.

Just “set it and forget it.”

The non-financial side is a different animal. It’s more of a right brain thing. You have to think expansively.

  • Creating a vision for your life after your primary career.
  • Rediscovering your life purpose.
  • Adjusting to the loss of your career identity – and crafting a new one.
  • Replacing some of the non-financial benefits that came from work, such as social connectivity.
  • Discovering new and different ways to invest your time.

This work takes imagination and requires equal parts of vulnerability, experimentation and collaboration.

It can be easy to underestimate. After all, how hard can it be? “You mean, I’ll be freed from the daily grind? I’ve got this covered. Golf. Grilling. Netflix and chill. Rinse and repeat. Problem solved. Nirvana.”

Stuck in Vacation Prison?

People feel that they deserve hard-earned time-off once they retire. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that. But problems can creep in when the vacation lasts so long that it perniciously becomes the new normal. A former colleague confided in me that time off was great at first, but then it actually became boring. He was surprised that he found himself feeling that way. After all, it was what it dreamed of for years – not working. But somehow he became “stuck in a vacation prison.” Something was missing. While he did not want to return to his corporate life, he didn’t want to feel like he retired from all of life either. After awhile, the vacation continued, but he was adrift. When every day is Saturday, you realize you’ve ruined Saturdays.

You see them at Starbucks. You see them at the movie theater. They all have that same look in their eyes. Retirement Zombies.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Create Your New Life

There’s a better way that many baby boomers are pursuing, even though it’s been mocked by a New York Times columnist, who advocates a traditional retirement life of moving to Florida and playing mah-jongg and golf.

Let me be clear. There’s certainly nothing wrong with any of those choices, except that they’re not for everyone. Some people want more out of the rest of their lives.

Is that all there is?  Is this what I worked so hard all those years for?

In his excellent book, Falling Upward, Richard Rohr a Franciscan priest, characterizes the second half of life as being about a spiritual transition of connecting to a deeper purpose and meaning in life. It’s more about others, and the contributions you make to the lives of others.

If that’s what you’re after, step out of your comfort zone and augment your financial planning, with a vision of your life in retirement. One that’s right for you, not the prescribed traditional one.

It involves taking stock of areas such as:

  • Life – What’s your true purpose in these next chapters of life? What contributions do you want to make to the lives of others?
  • Love –  What are the things you really love to do? Who are the people you really want to spend more time with? (And not…).
  • Leisure – What are the things you really want to do for enjoyment?
  • Learning – This may be the secret weapon. What new things do you want to learn? What have you always wanted to take up, but never had the time?

If you’re satisfied with checking out to a life of golf, best wishes. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am an unapologetic, non-golfing “ambitious baby boomer”-  exactly the type derided by the Times columnist. But I fervently believe there’s a higher level of active and meaningful, retired life that’s attainable with a bit of thoughtful planning.

Don’t be a zombie. Reach higher.

Joe Casey is an executive coach, who also helps people think through and create their Second Act careers or other meaningful pursuits in retirement, at retirementwisdom.com. He writes for The RW Blog, a retirement planning blog.