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Retiring? Congratulations! You’ve Got Seniority!

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By Dr. Thelma Reese

“I’m Retired!” What does that mean? The word has definitely lost its meaning. In fact, it’s time to retire the word “retired.” Retirement used to immediately signify either an arbitrary age — usually sixty-five, or whether or not one was still being paid to work. It could imply, however, any one of a whole range of conditions, from having the wealth to maintain one’s lifestyle to physical or mental senescence forcing an end to life in the
workplace; or unwanted termination from a successful career to voluntary withdrawal from a no-longer satisfying one. The term definitely brought with it the suggestion of removal from something and of an endpoint in one’s life — perhaps the signal of a final stage of life.


Today, retirement generally means leaving some kind of paid work — in other words, retiring from something. But using the term is insufficient, however, when it is applied to a time in one’s life. Today, the word needs the accompanying preposition: “to.” We don’t just retire from something; most of us retire to something else. It may even be to another income-producing activity. In fact, just describing oneself as “retired” is embarrassing. It says, “I’ve stopped. I have nothing to do that’s worth talking about. I’ve
disengaged from activity that matters or would be of interest to anyone else.”

What Does Being Retired Look Like?


Images fade slowly. We still can see in our minds’ eyes (and in well-aimed commercials) happy, even complacent old people rocking contentedly; or in more recent ads, vigorous grey-haired seniors playing contentedly, reflecting an inner sense of well-earned serenity and fulfillment, passing time until Forever arrives. And definitely not making waves. Pretty pictures, just before Forever peeks over the horizon, assuring us of our
idealized place and role in society.


For most of us, things changed a few decades before the current upheaval became manifest. The images of being retired were shattered by:

  • Longer life expectancy
  • Increased visibility (our burgeoning numbers)
  • Continued mental energy and emotional development
  • Recognition of the value of our own life experience
  • Concern for future generations
  • Awareness of critical problems affecting everything from our neighborhood to outer space
  • Connecting and contributing in ways we never dreamed of (except in science fiction)
  • Ageism rearing its ugly head Anger at being ignored

In these times, when the world needs all hands on deck, the disengagement that “retirement” once evoked seems wrong. We need to seize the opportunities and meet responsibilities that are here for each of us.

If We Aren’t in Retirement, Where Are We?

Now that we have worked at jobs and/or careers we loved, hated, or tolerated; have raised families or helped others do it, or made our own way on our own; have searched for, found, lost meaning, found it again, or search still; marvel at all we survived; loved, lost, mourned, and loved again, we have arrived at seniority. Not that we earned it; we got here by living. We have arrived at the state of privilege the term suggests.

This place of seniority carries with it an aura of respect — even esteem — that acknowledges experience. The senior partner, the senior officer, the senior student: status and rank are implied in seniority. Also implied is responsibility.

In this age of upheaval, the emerging presence and voice of seniors can be a source of strength, inspiring and merging with the power of the generations that follow. When we listen, engage, and demonstrate the capacity to change we have learned from experience; and when we model resilience, embrace new ideas, and apply the lessons of experience, we are necessary central players in the change our world needs.

Retirement is over. The idleness of retirement is over. The action of seniority has arrived.

Dr. Thelma Reese is the author of The New Senior Woman and The New Senior Man and creator of the blog, www.ElderChicks.com. She’s a retired professor of English and Education, the former spokesperson for Hooked on Phonics, and has long been active in national and Philadelphia-based educational and cultural initiatives. She is the author, with BJ Kittredge, of the new book, How Seniors Are Saving the World: Retirement Activism to the Rescue!

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Listen to Our Podcast Conversations with Dr. Reese

How Seniors Are Saving the World With Activism – Thelma Reese

The Unique Challenges Men and Women Face in Retirement – Thelma Reese

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This article is republished with permission from the author. It was originally published at New Spirit Journal and in Thrive Global.

Say Hello to Your Future Self

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by Bev Bachel

Actor Jim Carrey wrote his future self a $10-million check for “acting services rendered.”

Polar explorer Ann Bancroft spent her days in a walk-in freezer to prepare her future self to ski across Antarctica.

Singer Jennifer Hudson named her dogs Grammy and Oscar as a reminder that she had award-winning plans for her future self.

By focusing on their future selves and their hopes and dreams, these individuals nudged the universe in their favor, and you can, too.

You, only better.

Back when I first began thinking about retirement, I attended a presentation by Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist, Stanford University lecturer, and author of The Willpower Instinct.

During her presentation, she stressed that willpower is a competition between our present self, who acts impulsively to satisfy immediate needs, and our future self, who aspires to be better, someone who
puts our long-term well-being ahead of short-term satisfaction.

She also said that most of us, at some point, throw our future selves under the bus by giving in to what our present selves want right now. Think about it. We all know saving for retirement is important. Yet, about half of households age 55 and older have no retirement savings. [1]

And while everyone says their health is important, 70 percent of U.S.
adults are overweight, which puts both their present and future health at risk. So, how do you bring your present self into focus so you stop putting off the very things your future self will thank you for?

Here are five suggestions:

Let your mind wander. But rather than letting it run wild, put it on a leash by engaging in “positive constructive daydreaming” wherein you plan and rehearse what’s to come, concentrating on playful, empowering activities that will make your future self happy. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Add as much detail as you can.

Name yourself. On New Year’s Day 1999, I attended a “nudge the universe” workshop with two friends. As part of the workshop, we were asked to choose a new name for ourselves that reflected our dreams for the new century. I chose Author Artist, and within 12 months I had signed a contract for my first book.

Solicit input. Ask friends, family, and colleagues what they imagine your future self doing in the years and decades ahead. Do they see you continuing to live in your current home, downsizing to a smaller place, or adding a second home in a different climate? Or perhaps they envision you transitioning from full-time to more flexible work options before you retire completely, or giving up your career altogether in favor of a long-held dream such as becoming a graphic novelist or joining the Peace Corps.

Rethink what you own. We are what we wear, but so often our clothes reflect who we used to be, not who we want to become. And sometimes the homes and possessions that once brought us joy become burdens. One easy way to start letting go of your past self is by asking, “Is this something my future self would wear, own, or enjoy doing?” If not, let it go.

Create a vision board. What do you want your life to be like in the next three to five to 50 years? Cut out words and images from magazines that capture your vision and glue them on poster board. Then, put your vision board where you’ll see it often, ideally each morning when you wake up and each night before you go to bed. Or, create a for-your-eyes-only vision board on Pinterest.

A picture worth 100 years

If you’re looking to have a bit of fun with your future self, try out AgingBooth, a free app that enables you to instantly see what you might look like 10, 20, even 50 years from now. Although the aged photos the app generates are for “entertainment purposes only,” seeing yourself aging well (or looking like hell?) at 75, 85, or 100 may motivate you to do just what McGonigal advises: take better care of your self today.

And for that, your future self will thank you.

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and the author of  What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It! A Guide for Teens. She pictures her future self living in Paris.

[1] https://www.thebalance.com/average-retirement-savings-by-age-4155888

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Related Podcast Episodes You May Like

Design Your Life and Get Unstuck – Dave Evans

With the Freedom to Retire, Where Will You Plant Your New Tree? – Don Ezra

Stretching Out of Your Comfort Zone

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By Bev Bachel

From graphic designer to children’s book author.

From Fortune 500 consultant to product developer.

From mental-health therapist to organic bread baker.

These are just some of the ways people I know have stretched out of their comfort zones in recent years. Some of the stretches were intentional, such as a move from full-time work to part-time or even into retirement. Others were made on the way to finding a more fulfilling life purpose or by finally going for a long-held dream. Still, others came about as the result of outside forces: the loss of a job, the failure of a business, a divorce, or the death of a close friend or significant other.


But what all these stretches have in common is that they took the “stretchers” out of their existing comfort zones and brought them face to face with what Brené Brown calls the FFTs: the “f#!%ing first times.”


In the inaugural episode of her new podcast, “Unlocking Us,” Brown describes the FFTs as the awkward and sometimes incredibly uncomfortable feelings that arise whenever we try to do something for the first time. But just because doing something new feels uncomfortable, doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. In fact, overcoming inertia and getting outside our comfort zones may hold the key to fulfillment as we transition into retirement.

One Stretcher’s Success Story


Having spent 30 years as a broadcast journalist, Cathy Wurzer is comfortable being center stage. She hosts Minnesota Public Radio’s “Morning Edition” and co-anchors a Twin Cities Public Television news program. But in 2016, when she decided to launch the nonprofit End in Mind Project, she quickly found herself stretched outside her comfort zone. “I was used to delivering the news,” says Wurzer. “But now I was trying to get people to talk about a topic many consider taboo.”


The topic? Death and dying.

“Not only was everyone else uncomfortable with it, so was I,” says Wurzer. But she didn’t let that stop her. Instead, she used on-air conversations with a dying friend as the impetus for live events, workshops, a podcast, and more, all of which required Wurzer to learn new skills—everything from hiring staff for her new nonprofit to managing volunteers to event planning to advertising and social media. “I had no idea how much I had to learn,” says Wurzer. “It’s been like drinking from a firehose, but it’s also been personally rewarding.”


Now that her nonprofit is up and running, there’s something new that’s putting Wurzer through the FFTs all over again: fundraising. “When you launch a nonprofit, the one thing you have to get comfortable doing is asking for money,” says Wurzer. “It’s not easy, but if you aren’t willing to ask, you’ll never make it.”


Five tips to help you stretch

Whether you, like Wurzer, are considering launching something new or are just inching yourself closer to the retirement of your dreams, here are five tips to help you s-t-r-e-t-c-h out of your comfort zone and get comfortable with the FFTs:

  1. Craft a few experiments. You don’t have to quit your job or sell your house to take a big leap outside your comfort zone. Instead, come up with some ways to get your feet wet. For example, if you’re getting ready to retire, volunteer, enroll in a course, attend a conference, take a sabbatical, or ask your boss for more (or less) responsibility. You might even consider taking your retirement for a test drive.
  2. Use your imagination. Research shows that our brains don’t differentiate between imagining doing something—delivering a TED Talk, for instance—and actually doing it, so amp up your confidence and your skills by engaging your imagination. Where are you? Who’s with you? What are you doing? What do you see, hear, and feel? How are others responding to you?
  3. Lower your expectations. When you first try something new, chances are you won’t be very good at it. That seems obvious, right? But it’s amazing how many of us let the fact that we’re “all thumbs” or “have two left feet” get in the way of trying new things.
  4. Check your ego at the door. Acknowledge that you don’t have all or even most of the answers, and you’ll find it easier to embrace the FFTs and stretch out of your comfort zone.
  5. Ask for help. Don’t carry the ball all by yourself. Instead, let other people help you get where you want to go by expanding your network to include people who are both younger and older, as well as those who have had different life and career experiences.

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and editor, and the author of What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It. She’s stretched out of her comfort zone and conquered the FFTs to attend water aerobics and deliver keynote speeches.

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Related Retirement Wisdom Podcast Episodes

Take the Detour – A Second Act Career Story – Melissa Davey

Are You Thinking About Going Back to School in Retirement? – Nell Painter

How Life Hacks Can Help Make Your Retirement the Best Time of Your Life – Sam Horn

Not Exactly Retired – David Jarmul

If You Love Your Work, What Challenges Will You Face in Retirement? – Michelle Pannor Silver

One Family’s Return to Intergenerational Living

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By Bev Bachel

As you head into retirement, one of the biggest decisions you’ll have to make is where you are going to live. Many opt for retirement communities but increasingly people are choosing to live with younger members of their own families.

According to Marc Freedman, founder of Encore.org and author of How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations, that choice could be the secret to fulfillment and happiness as we live longer lives.

But intergenerational living doesn’t just benefit those in retirement; it benefits family members of all ages. That’s why Robert and Kay Joslin are so delighted to be reunited under one roof with their daughter Jamie and her young family.

Together for the good of all

For the Joslins, intergenerational living is nothing new. They’d done it years ago with the generation before them.

“Kay’s dad had polio in the 1950s and was in a wheelchair most of his adult life,” explains Robert. “When Kay’s mom had a stroke, we all agreed it was time for the two of them to come to Texas and live with us and our daughter Jamie, who was 10 at the time.”

So, Robert and Kay designed and built a home where all three generations could live together. Kay, who had already left her career as a petroleum engineer, was the primary caregiver for her parents and Jamie, while Robert continued to work full-time.

“That experience was invaluable,” says Robert. “It taught us all the value of different perspectives and about the importance of respect and understanding.”

But eventually Kay’s parents died, Jamie moved to Minneapolis to attend college, and Robert and Kay became empty nesters.

Full circle

Fast forward 10 years. By then, Jamie was married to Randy Millard and living in Minneapolis. When the couple announced their pregnancy in 2014, Robert and Kay decided it was time to join them. In less than 10 weeks, they sold their Texas home and bought a new one just a mile away from Jamie and Randy.

Shortly after, Kay once again became the primary caregiver, this time for her granddaughter Robin, while Robert, Jamie and Randy worked full-time. And while they hadn’t had any serious conversations about when they would merge households, all four were certain it would happen … someday.

That day came sooner than expected when Jamie, at 31, was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis the same month she learned she was pregnant with her second child.

“We always knew our two families would live together, but after Dani’s birth there were days when I couldn’t even change a diaper or button the girls’ clothes, so our ‘someday’ plan became a two-year plan.”

The four adults discussed what they wanted and needed in their new shared home. Jamie and Randy both needed offices, while Kay insisted on a walk-out basement, ideally with a kitchenette so that she and Robert, both early risers, could enjoy a cup of coffee without disturbing other family members.

Robert even created a spreadsheet to help each person prioritize what was most important to him or her.

A smart financial decision

One of their first, and most important, steps was meeting with a financial planner. “We knew our goal of living together would never work if we couldn’t talk candidly about money, including how much we make and how we hope to spend it,” says Robert, who still works full-time.

“We are also very clear that it’s not the Joslin’s money or the Millard’s money, but our money.”

That’s one reason why, when they purchased their new home, all four adults put their names on the home’s title. It’s also why they continue to talk openly about what aging well means to them, as well as their goals, including financial independence.

“Buying a house together was definitely a smart financial decision,” says Jamie. “Daycare for two kids costs $24,000 to $30,000 a year. And if my mom and dad had to move into an assisted living facility, that would cost another $5,000 a month—for each of them.”

Family time is priceless

While the financial benefits of living together are huge, it’s the ordinary, everyday moments that everyone appreciates the most.  

“I got off a conference call the other day and walked out of my office to find my dad playing Monopoly with my daughter Robin, while Dani sat in her highchair watching,” says Jamie. “I could have cried! They were playing with the exact same set my grandparents and I used to play with when I was a kid. Seeing that brought back a flood of memories and made me realize just how blessed my family truly is.”

Of course, there are challenges. “Yeah, we fight,” says Jamie. “Yeah, there’s tension. But the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. For instance, the girls are learning that there’s not just one way of doing things but multiple ways.”

Robert agrees: “Things were great before we moved in together, and they’re even better now that we’re once again a three-generation household raising a family, cooking and gardening together, sharing childcare, pooling our resources and making memories that will last a lifetime.”

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and the author of What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It! A Guide for Teens. As a child, she enjoyed having her grandmother live with her family most winters.

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Related Podcast Episodes You May Like

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The Exciting Potential of Intergenerational Mentoring – Charlotte Japp

How to Change Lanes to a Second Career

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By Bev Bachel  

Trout Lowen went from freelance writing and editing to selling real estate.

Lynn Barber pivoted from managing a work comp claims center for a Fortune 500 insurance company to teaching residents in her community how to build sustainable gardens.

Barry Scanlan transitioned from serving as a school district crisis response coordinator to being a visual artist.

Laurie Gilbert rotated from managing the production of intricate pop-up books to designing her own line of dishware and jewelry.

Otis Zanders shifted from being the warden of a correctional facility to serving as the president and CEO of a nonprofit dedicated to reducing criminal recidivism among African-American young men.

How did these individuals safely and smoothly change lanes into their new careers?

They did it the same way you can: by following this seven-step process recommended by Catherine Byers Breet. A former high-tech recruiter who launched her own business in order to change lanes from speaking to coaching, Byers Breet is on a mission “to help one million people love what they do for a living.”

Step 1: Look back for happiness.

Plot all the jobs you’ve had and rank them from 1-10, with 10 being “loved it” and 1 being “hated it.” Then, look back at the jobs you loved and identify the specific activities you enjoyed. Coaching team members? Being creative? Diving deep into a problem on your own? Collaborating with others? Finding solutions to nagging problems? Raising money for a cause you believe in? Also identify the activities you hated.

Step 2: Look ahead for fulfillment.

If money wasn’t a concern, what work would you do? What work wouldn’t you do? If you didn’t have to worry about having the right skills or enough talent, what would you try? Who might you partner with? Who would you choose to avoid? Also think about life priorities, such as family, friends, health and making a difference in your community. Identifying your values can help. So can keeping in mind that what may have been fulfilling in the past may not be so moving forward.

Step 3: Define your non-negotiables.

Now that you’ve gotten in touch with what you’ve enjoyed and what you’ve disliked or perhaps even hated about your previous jobs, it’s time to home in on your non-negotiables. “When I was 33, I had two kids in diapers, a bedridden mother and a dad who had just had a massive stroke,” says Byers Breet. “I was caring for all four so two of my non-negotiables at that time were minimal travel and a flexible work schedule.” Now, her parents are gone and her kids are in high school so if she were job hunting, her non-negotiables would likely focus more on salary requirements so that she can reach her family’s college savings and retirement goals.

Step 4: Spear your fear.

List what you’re afraid of. For some people, it may be lack of money or job security; for others, it may be loss of respect or inability to influence others. “But don’t stop at surface fears,” says Byers Breet. Instead, dig deep to uncover the tight-in-chest, butterflies-in-the-stomach, worst-case scenario fears that lie two or three or even a dozen layers beneath the surface. Then, once you’ve identified your fears, assess the likelihood of each fear becoming real and develop a plan for addressing it.

Step 5: Identify the gaps.

Now that you know what you want and better understand skills, qualifications and education required, what gaps exist? Are they real or perceived? If real, can you fill them by gaining experience as a volunteer or going back to school? Barber, claims center manager turned sustainable garden guru, did both things, first volunteering as master gardener, then eventually earning a master’s degree in environmental horticulture. Bridge jobs also offer a way to pick up industry experience or develop new skills.

Step 6: Research the market.

What jobs are out there? What do they pay? What skills and experience are required? Who’s hiring? How do they feel about older workers? Is a college degree required? Are part-time options available?

Step 7: Start networking.  

“Surprisingly, this can be the most terrifying step of all for many people,” says Byers Breet. “But you really can’t consider changing careers unless you’re willing to talk to people in the new field or industry you want to be a part of.” Use the conversations to ask for advice and introductions to others who may be willing to help or advise.

Follow these seven steps and you, too, can safely and successfully change lanes to a fulfilling and purpose-filled second career.

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and editor, and the author of What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It. A lifelong goal-setter, she’s tapped into the power of goalsetting to sell Girl Scout cookies, stay connected to her four sisters and make new friends. One of her second-career goals? To work on a podcast. 

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How to Make a Wise Career Switch – Dawn Graham

From the NBA Hardwood to the Altar – Steve Javie

How to Build a Non-Profit Encore Career – Betsy Werley

Navigating An Unexpected Career Change – Maggie Craddock

Take the Detour – A Second Act Career Story – Melissa Davey

Will You Be an Entrepreneur in Your Second Act Career? – Dorie Clark