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Retirement Wisdom

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purpose

Why Settle for Happiness?

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By Joe Casey

The pursuit of happiness. It’s high on the list in retirement. Everyone wants a happy retirement.

It’s one of the three “unalienable rights” highlighted in the Declaration of Independence. Happiness has also become an industry. Odds are that you’ve read a least one, and probably more, of the countless books or articles published on happiness in recent years.

And it seems that it may be harder to achieve these days – at least around these parts. Among countries, Canada ranks 9th and the U.S. slipped from third to 19th in the 2017 World Happiness Report.

But if you’re “chronologically advanced”, as I heard the comedian Sarah Jones describe it last week, there’s good news.

Unlike a number of things, happiness tends to increase in later life. Several studies (including Blanchflower, D. G., & Oswald, A. J. (2008)) suggest that happiness follows a U-shaped curve, dipping in mid-life and then tending to climb in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

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Is That All There Is?

We can all agree that happiness is a good thing. And it’s great to know that it tends to increase in later years. But perhaps there’s a higher level of living to aspire to. A new study by the Stanford Graduate School of Education and Encore.org (Purpose in the Encore Years: Shaping Lives of Meaning and Contribution) found that (only) about 3 in 10 of surveyed adults, 50 and older, expressed that they have “purpose beyond the self”. Purpose was defined as engaging in activities that had meaning to them personally and contributed to the well-being of others.

Often, this is of great interest to many people. But it’s natural to wonder what it really entails and what you’d need to give up. Does purpose involve a high level of sacrifice and total commitment? A key finding of this study is that pursuing purpose is”not a zero-sum game”. People who reported a purpose beyond themselves were found to have a higher level of engagement in other self-oriented activities, indicating that purposeful activities are a matter of “and” rather than “either/or.” Perhaps the most notable finding is that those with “purpose beyond the self” reported higher levels of joy, satisfaction, and optimism. (I’ve never heard anyone complain about having too much of those).

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How to Build Purpose and Meaning

How do I find my purpose and strive for greater meaning? Our guest on this week’s episode of The Retirement Conversation podcast, Emily Esfahani Smith, makes a compelling case for cultivating meaning over pursuing happiness. The author of The Power of Meaning, she notes that happiness can be fleeting, while meaning can lead to longer-lasting fulfillment. Emily dispels the perception of pursuing purpose and meaning as lofty and offers practical advice and examples of how it can be nurtured in small ways in daily life.  Emily provides insights from positive psychology research, the wisdom of ancient philosophers, and her own experiences that will be useful to anyone who is interested in developing more purpose and meaning in their lives.

You can listen to our conversation with Emily Esfahani Smith here.

Will You Outlive Your Money? There Are Other Risks, Too.

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By Joe Casey

You’ve seen the brochures on retirement. Sailboats. Walks on the beach, Golf. Beautiful sunsets. ‘Seashells and balloons’ as the late, great Al McGuire once quipped. They paint an appealing picture of retirement.  It looks awesome!

It’s important to have an aspirational vision of your life in retirement. And it’s critical to have a sound financial plan and invest wisely for your future. If you don’t, you’ll risk outliving your money, advisors, and journalists prudently warn. It’s a primary concern.

But there’s another side of retirement that’s not in the brochures. The non-financial side. It also carries serious risks. They’re often unanticipated and can have significant implications for your life in retirement if you’re not prepared.

Gray Divorce

There’s a strong trend of more married people leaving to lead lives apart as they grow older. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate of people 50 and older has doubled and the rate for those 65 and older has roughly tripled since 1990.

Loneliness

We know that obesity is a major health risk. But researchers have found that social isolation poses an even greater health risk. Lonely people were found to have a 50% greater risk of dying early compared to socially connected people. By comparison, obesity poses a 30% greater risk of early death.

Depression

The Center for Disease Control reports that depression is not a normal part of the aging process. Most older adults are not depressed. However, retirement can be stressful and some older adults can be at increased risk.

Increased Alcohol Use

Alcohol use – and abuse – is also trending up, increasing over 22 percent since 2002 among people 65 and over, especially among women and minorities.

Is Boredom the Root Cause?

 What’s driving these trends? My hypothesis is that boredom is a key factor. It can be a hard transition going from a life centered on work to life in retirement. Work provides multiple benefits besides a paycheck, such as structure, camaraderie, and a sense of purpose, that are not automatically replaced.

Without preparation and planning, the hours that people worked so hard to enjoy do get filled.

Often, with TV and Netflix. They can be great, but are they a replacement for work? Yet according to a report by eMarketer, “adults 65 and older spend an average of 51.5 hours a week watching live TV and time-shifted TV.”

Get a Life – in Retirement

Retirement no longer comes with a gold watch. Nor does it automatically come with a satisfying lifestyle from day one. But it does come with time and freedom.

The good news is that it is doable to create a satisfying life in retirement  – and it’s much better than TV (and possibly even Netflix).

The trick is designing the right mix of activities that you enjoy and find meaningful.  Research by Merrill Lynch and Age Wave shows that the most highly satisfied retirees are engaged in a variety of activities, often 10 or more. They don’t have time to watch 51.5 hours of TV. 

 Start Small, but Do Start to Invest Your Time

If you’re worried about outliving your money, you’ll take time to build a sound financial plan, perhaps with a good advisor, and make smart investments to mitigate that risk.

it’s a similar process with the non-financial side. You’ll create a plan, perhaps with a good retirement coach, and make wise investments of your time. Start small. Start building an active life outside of work around your interests. Invest time in your significant relationships. Invest time expanding your social network beyond work. Invest time in your interests – perhaps the things you’ve always wanted to devote more time to – or maybe revisiting something you used to love when you were younger and want to pick up once again.  Or maybe its something entirely new and different that you’d like to learn.

Start.

Listen to our retirement podcast with interviews with authors, experts, and retirees creating interesting lives in retirement.

 

References

Lin, I. F., Brown, S. L., Wright, M. R., & Hammersmith, A. M. (2016). Antecedents of gray divorce: A life course perspective. Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, gbw164.

(2016, July 16). TV Continues to Top Time with Media. eMarketer. Retrieved fromhttps://www.emarketer.com/Article/TV-Continues-Top-Time-with-Media/1014210

(2014). Work in Retirement: Myths and Motivations. Merrill Lynch/Age Wave.

(2012). Depression is Not a Normal Part of Growing Older. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/aging/mentalhealth/depression.htm

What Will Your Life in Retirement Be About?

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By Joe Casey

Some people worry that they’ll be constantly looking for things to do in retirement. That may depend on your outlook. Our head of HR once told an old story that’s always stuck with me. The story was about a traveler in ancient Rome who was walking up a steep hill where he encountered a group of workers scurrying about.

I’m Busy, Man

It was a very busy scene and he decided to inquire about what exactly they were doing. The first worker he asked seemed visibly annoyed about being interrupted and barked “I am cutting stones.” It wasn’t clearly audible, but the traveler thought he heard the worker grumble “Idiot.” The worker clearly wanted to return to his tasks as soon as possible, so the traveler continued up the hill.

All About the Benjamins?

Soon he came across a second worker, who was doing the same tasks. He was also busy, but he appeared a bit friendlier. The traveler asked him the same question. The worker paused, just for a moment, and explained “I am a stonecutter. I traveled many miles here for this work and as soon as I receive my pay next month, I will return home.” The worker then turned his attention back to his work. The traveler thanked him and continued up the hill.

A Bigger Purpose

Toward the top of the hill, he saw a third worker. He was engaged in exactly the same tasks as the other two workers had been. The traveler asked him the same question about what he was doing. The third worker put down his tools, walked over to shake the traveler’s hand, looked him in the eye, smiled broadly and answered: “I am building a cathedral.” He explained “I’ve traveled very far to be part of this team and I miss my family. But I know how important this cathedral will be and how many people will come and worship here. The Bishop shared with us his vision for this place and how many people would benefit for many, many years. Their future depends on the very work we’re doing now.”

Having a clear sense of purpose can completely shift how someone views their work. Is it simply a task, a job or is it possibly something more meaningful, even a calling? What’s different about the third worker is his understanding of the vision and the impact that their collective work will have on others. It puts the same exact tasks in a broader context and there’s a difference in how he describes the work.

Will You Be A Stonecutter in Retirement?

Lately, I’m noticing the same phenomenon with retirement. Much of what I read about planning for retirement, especially early retirement, feels a lot like the first and second workers. There are the key steps to take and tasks to hit. All are good and very important. There’s a big emphasis on the date. It’s reminiscent of Escape from Alcatraz. You can picture the prisoners scratching the number of days on the walls of their cells. There’s more emphasis on what they are retiring from than what they are retiring to. I sense that’s something is missing.

I notice similar things among those who are in retirement. On vacation this week, I hear many people describe themselves as “I’m retired.” When asked a little more about it, their answers focus on activities – on what they do. “A little of this and a little of that” is a common refrain. Travel and Golf are others. Other retirees, like the second worker, describe themselves based on their personal or professional roles. “I’m a grandfather. I’m a volunteer. I’m a writer. I’m a teacher part-time. 

But I notice something different about a third group. It’s the smallest, but they describe things that they are engaged in that seem to have a deeper meaning to them. What I notice in those people is they talk less about themselves and more about others. Less about themselves and more about how what they are engaged in and how it helps others. It’s anecdotal, but I’d say this last group seems happier. They remind me of the third worker.

Your Move

Each retirement is unique. How about you? How are you thinking about your retirement? Are you thinking of it as something you’ll do, a specific role or something that has a meaningful purpose to you and an impact on others?

Want to Discover a New Purpose? Take a Look at Your Current and Future Roles

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By Joe Casey

On my mini-vacation last week, I read two books – one fiction and one non-fiction. To my surprise, I encountered the same quotation in both books:

 

“The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to.”

 

The universe was trying to tell me something. (It gets rather insistent if it notices I’m not listening).

The quote is an excellent summary of the recipe for a satisfying retirement. If you have your health and financial independence, these three are the next critical ingredients.

Something to Do Isn’t Enough

Something to do is an interesting one in the phase of life that follows your primary career. At first glance, some find it easy to dismiss. “I’ll just play golf or travel or shop. Done.” But that gives it short shrift. The key to happiness in retirement is not just something to do, but something meaningful to do. It’s not about filling the time, but doing (some) things that matter.

Retirement presents challenges and opportunities when it comes to purpose. Discovering your purpose sounds lofty and more than a little self-absorbed. Most of us aren’t used to spending much time navel-gazing and pondering our purpose in life. You might do that in college, briefly, while taking a philosophy course, but for many people life takes over. Your life purpose tends to get clarified pretty quickly once you enter the workforce and/or start to raise a family.

When the merry-go-round pauses for a bit when you decide to retire, the question of purpose may re-appear. It may not be a burning question right out of the gate, but, if you pay attention, you’ll find it gurgling just beneath the surface. What’s my purpose now?

Roles Define Purpose

I’ve never asked anyone what their purpose is. Observing how they spend their time will tell me. Our roles in life, personally and professionally, define our purpose. As life goes on, there’s value in thinking about our roles, how they are changing and what we’d like them to be in the future.

Some roles are not forever. Some dramatically change while others evolve. If you’re a parent, maybe your role has morphed into parenting adult children, which comes with different joys and challenges. Or perhaps you have a new role after becoming a grandparent. At work, maybe your role includes more development of the next generation of leaders and you’re spending more time mentoring. For many, new roles are created through community involvement. What I notice is these new roles tend to be all about helping others in some way. The late Wayne Dyer captured the essence of this part of life as a transformation from shifting your focus from success to significance.

Time for a New Role?

What often happens when people transition to retirement is that, after a while, they feel a little lost and adrift. A sense of purpose is a powerful force. When a big role in your life changes, that sense of purpose can go with it. In my experience, the best solution is to look at your roles.

Just as earlier in life, our roles and our purpose are intertwined. The good news is that, in planning for retirement, you get another shot at creating some new roles. With some thought and reflection, you can re-invent some of your roles, re-ignite your sense of purpose and re-engage with something very meaningful to do.

 

References

Dyer, W. (2010). The shift: taking your life from ambition to meaning. Carlsbad, California: Hay House.

Livingston, G. (2009). Too soon old, too late smart: Thirty true things you need to know now. Boston: Da Capo Press.

Thor, B. (2017). Use of force.  New York: Atria/Emily Bestler Books.

Why Knowing Your Ikigai Is So Important in Retirement

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By Susan Williams

Do you know what your Ikigai is?

Ikigai is a Japanese term used to refer to reason for being or another interpretation is “the reason to get out of bed in the morning”.

Back in 2009, a team of researchers from Japan released the results of a study on the affect that ikigai had on aging.

In their research of over 73,000 people, what they discovered is that those that answered “yes” to whether they had ikigai or not had a lower mortality rate years later than those without it.

It makes sense.

If you feel your life has no meaning or purpose or you don’t have a reason to get out of bed in the morning you could see how this could affect you.

Especially in retirement.

Once we retire, if our identity or purpose to get up in the morning and go to work is no longer there then what are we to do?

Dan Buettner conducted a very interesting interview with Richard Leider on the importance of purpose – especially when aging. Here is his interview…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6XlZnb7rTs

These are some of the highlights from his interview;

  • Having a purpose is a fundamental need
  • It’s fundamental to longevity, health, healing happiness and also creativity and productivity
  • When you have a purpose, it helps you live longer because of the physiological effects on both your brain and your body. It also allows you to develop relationships, a sense of community and in turn safety and security
  • With a purpose, not only does it give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning but it also affects our overall mindset and mood
  • When we retire, there is a risk to us if work is all that we believe we had as our purpose. Here’s a great quote from the interview; “If you are what you do, when you don’t you aren’t”
  • In retirement, if you have no time structure or relationships outside of your work this can be a significant problem

So, how do you find your purpose? Richard Leider suggested the following;

  • Recognize that your purpose is not a goal – it’s a mindset.
  • Realize that your purpose is a need in life that is outside of yourself
  • He suggested that to get started in discovering your purpose – start with two words – GROW and GIVE
  • Put these two words on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. Every morning ask yourself what will you grow and give that day. And each night ask yourself what you grew and gave that day. This action will help you explore and find your purpose.
May you find and live your ikigai….

 

This blog post originally appeared on www.boomingencore.com and was reprinted with permission.

Susan Williams is the Founder of Booming Encore – a website and social media network dedicated to providing information and inspiration to help Baby Boomers create and live their very best encore. Being a Boomer herself, Susan loves to discover ways to live life to the fullest. She shares her experiences, observations and opinions on living life after 50 and personally tries to embrace Booming Encore’s philosophy of making sure every day matters. For daily updates to help you live your best encore, be sure to follow Booming Encore on Twitter and join them on Facebook.