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Retirement Wisdom

Retire Smarter

Personal Development

Why Settle for Happiness?

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By Joe Casey

The pursuit of happiness. It’s high on the list in retirement. Everyone wants a happy retirement.

It’s one of the three “unalienable rights” highlighted in the Declaration of Independence. Happiness has also become an industry. Odds are that you’ve read a least one, and probably more, of the countless books or articles published on happiness in recent years.

And it seems that it may be harder to achieve these days – at least around these parts. Among countries, Canada ranks 9th and the U.S. slipped from third to 19th in the 2017 World Happiness Report.

But if you’re “chronologically advanced”, as I heard the comedian Sarah Jones describe it last week, there’s good news.

Unlike a number of things, happiness tends to increase in later life. Several studies (including Blanchflower, D. G., & Oswald, A. J. (2008)) suggest that happiness follows a U-shaped curve, dipping in mid-life and then tending to climb in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

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Is That All There Is?

We can all agree that happiness is a good thing. And it’s great to know that it tends to increase in later years. But perhaps there’s a higher level of living to aspire to. A new study by the Stanford Graduate School of Education and Encore.org (Purpose in the Encore Years: Shaping Lives of Meaning and Contribution) found that (only) about 3 in 10 of surveyed adults, 50 and older, expressed that they have “purpose beyond the self”. Purpose was defined as engaging in activities that had meaning to them personally and contributed to the well-being of others.

Often, this is of great interest to many people. But it’s natural to wonder what it really entails and what you’d need to give up. Does purpose involve a high level of sacrifice and total commitment? A key finding of this study is that pursuing purpose is”not a zero-sum game”. People who reported a purpose beyond themselves were found to have a higher level of engagement in other self-oriented activities, indicating that purposeful activities are a matter of “and” rather than “either/or.” Perhaps the most notable finding is that those with “purpose beyond the self” reported higher levels of joy, satisfaction, and optimism. (I’ve never heard anyone complain about having too much of those).

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How to Build Purpose and Meaning

How do I find my purpose and strive for greater meaning? Our guest on this week’s episode of The Retirement Conversation podcast, Emily Esfahani Smith, makes a compelling case for cultivating meaning over pursuing happiness. The author of The Power of Meaning, she notes that happiness can be fleeting, while meaning can lead to longer-lasting fulfillment. Emily dispels the perception of pursuing purpose and meaning as lofty and offers practical advice and examples of how it can be nurtured in small ways in daily life.  Emily provides insights from positive psychology research, the wisdom of ancient philosophers, and her own experiences that will be useful to anyone who is interested in developing more purpose and meaning in their lives.

You can listen to our conversation with Emily Esfahani Smith here.

Who Will You Be in Your Retirement?

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By Joe Casey

What does your life after retirement look like when you imagine it?

 

“When you are 20, you care about what people think about you,

when you are 40 you stop caring about what people think about you,

and when you are 60, you realize nobody cared in the first place.”

– Winston Churchill

 

Have you ever asked someone “How was your weekend?” –  and regret it when, five minutes later, they’re still breaking down Saturday morning blow by blow? Let’s face it. You were really expecting “Fine” or “Wonderful” or “Awesome” – or even “Not bad. How was yours?” Any answer would do. And you’d both pleasantly move on with your days. Well, it turns out that that same dynamic may be at play with a weighty question that’s quite important in transitioning to retirement.“So, what are you going to when you retire?” Having a clear retirement vision helps guide your planning and decision-making. But while it is important to you, perhaps any answer will do for others.

What Are You Going to Do in Retirement?

When you’re faced with this question, watch where your eyes go. They will instantly tell you where you are in the process of transitioning to retirement. If they look upward, you’re probably in the exploration phase. You will likely launch into an exciting and rambling answer roaming the landscape of the possibilities you’re pondering. If the person who asked the question is still awake (or even still there…), be prepared to hear “Oh, that’s interesting.”

If your eyes go directly to your shoes, you probably haven’t taken the time to give it the proper thought yet. You may grab some answers from the shelf of classic retirement cliches and mumble something about every day being Saturday, catching up on things you’ve meant to do around the house, golf, or traveling. Be prepared for “That’s nice”. 

It’s just like the question How was your weekend?

Any concise answer will do just fine.

What’s Your Elevator Speech?

Our latest podcast guest, Dr. David Ekerdt, University of  Kansas Professor and President of The Gerontological Society of America, thinks there’s a better way.  He has studied transitions to retirement for several decades and he recommends that we develop an Elevator Speech for retirement – just as you would in starting a new business.

If you’ve ever developed an elevator speech, you’ll know that it is short and clear, by design. A lot of thought and refinement goes into it.

It forces clarity.

Who Will You Be?

Ekerdt reframes the question What Are You Going to Do Now? to a more meaningful one – Who Will You Be?

He suggests that answers to the first question can come from expectations created by cultural norms and commercial marketers. Answers to the second one require more reflection and tend to come from values. He notes that one of the cultural beliefs that shape our views on retirement is that a busy retirement is best. But a busy retirement is not for everyone. Ekerdt advises focusing on what’s most important to you. And to do those things at your own pace.

Many of our choices earlier in life are influenced by the expectations of others, perhaps more than we even realize. The retirement phase of life is about freedom. When you earn the freedom to retire, how will you structure your day in retirement? It gives you a chance to live in alignment with your true values, to do more of what you want to. Churchill suggests it’s a time we can move away from the expectations of other people.  Hear our conversation with David Ekerdt, where he shares his wisdom on retirement.

 

 

 

Should I Stay or Should I Go? What’s the Right Move?

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By Joe Casey

Is it time for a new career? Can I do it?

It’s inevitable that you will approach a crossroads in your career in mid to later life.

Questions bubble up.

Sometimes from within. Sometimes from others. Or both.

The questions are around your path.

          Should I Stay With What I’m Doing?

          Or Should I Pursue a Different Direction?

A Chorus Of Voices

It’s an invitation to tune in to that little voice inside that’s easy to mute in the hustle and bustle of daily life.

Practical considerations quickly come to the fore. Stability. Financial security.

And then the ‘What If’s” join the conversation.

Often, it’s the negatrons that jump in first. They tend to be the louder ones.

           What if I switch direction and fail?

Are You Tuned In?

But you usually have to concentrate on hearing the quieter voice. But it’s worth it. There’s usually a dream in there.

          What if I could do x?

          What if I started my own business? The one I’ve always thought about.

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The practical considerations are real and important. There are challenges and risks that have to be weighed and considered.

So what’s the right answer?

Staying the Course

I encountered two examples this week that answered the same question differently.

First up is Pete Carroll, coach of the Seattle Seahawks. In his case, the questions have been swirling. From others.

He is clearly passionate about what he does. His answer is:

“Somebody said, ‘You’re 65, are you thinking of retiring?’ 

….Who says at 65, you have to retire?

 What does that mean? It means nothing to me.

I’m not old enough to retire.”

       – The MMQB – Sports Illustrated | June 11, 2018

He loves his job. A key theme in his coaching is to Always Compete. For him, the choice to stay the course seems clear. In spite of

the strident voices around him who suggest otherwise. Maybe that will be the right choice for you. But for others, there can be a

sense that there’s more, something else to pursue, something left to do.

Will You Be Ready to Seize an Opportunity?

Next, meet Melissa Davey. In the midst of a successful career as a senior leader in healthcare, a chance detour led her to move to a new career,  a seismic career shift to filmmaking. Melissa joined us on our podcast, The Retirement Wisdom podcast, to discuss her story, her new career, and her documentary feature-film titled Beyond Sixty Project.  The story of her film is fascinating, capturing the life experiences of women across the country who are crafting their own stories of “resilience and relevance.”

Like Pete Carroll, she loved her job, too. But a focal point of her story is being open to new experiences that could open up a new

avenue. Perhaps most of all, her story is about listening carefully to that inner voice, having the courage to pursue a dream Second

Act – and then creating and executing the right plan to make it happen.

Will You Have the Courage to Seize the Opportunity for a Great Second Act?https://www.retirementwisdom.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-podcast/ Click To Tweet

You can listen to our conversation with Melissa here.

You’ll hear the inspiring story about how she became a filmmaker at 65 and the role of a pivotal encounter with M.Night Shyamalan.

It could help you tune in to your inner voice at just the right time – and it could lead to a new career.

Joe Casey is a former senior HR executive pursuing a Second Act career as a retirement coach.

Why Do We Need Reminders of What Matters Most?

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By Joe Casey

A colleague, executive coaching client, and friend died two weeks ago. He was suddenly stricken with an illness, fought valiantly, but, sadly, died three months later.

One week before his retirement date.

One month before his 69th birthday.

His brother delivered the eulogy at his funeral and spoke about how he had been looking forward to being able to spend the whole summer at his beach house, for the first time in his life. He had bought a new convertible, parked right outside, to make the most of it. He had put his retirement off, several times.

Listening to the eulogy, you heard a story of a life well led. There was a clear arc from humble beginnings and through perseverance, life-long learning;  professional success. Most of all,  there were long-term commitments and relationships with family and friends. He was a devoted husband and father.

He had done things right in preparing for his retirement. He had planned, saved and invested wisely. And he was a man of purpose and conviction. He was not one who spoke about purpose, he was one who walked the talk. He had changed his career ten years ago at 58 from financial services to health care. In preparation, he had gone back to school and earned a Master’s degree in the field. He then went to work at a not-for-profit organization in the substance abuse rehabilitation field, an area that he was deeply passionate about.

If you follow Retirement Wisdom on Twitter, you know that we follow the literature on retirement closely. There’s no shortage of articles on longevity, working longer and even never retiring each week. Lots of stats and projections of increased life expectancy and longer careers.

We all know that there are no guarantees. But standing in the pouring rain at the funeral of a colleague, client and friend, I wonder why we sometimes need a reminder to return our focus to what matters most. At least, I do.

Carpe diem.

 

Joe Casey is an executive coach and retirement coach with Retirement Wisdom®.

Follow us on Twitter @RetiremntWisdom and connect on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/joecasey21

Is Your Attitude in Shape for Retirement?

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By Joe Casey

There’s a lot of uncertainty we face in planning for retirement. On the financial side, we can’t control the direction of the markets, interest rates or unexpected events (Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!). On the non-financial side, there are important questions to resolve (Where will we live? What will we do?) and many things we can’t fully control, like our health and longevity. There is one thing we can control in retirement – our attitude.

In my HR career, I  remember meeting with an internal client who prominently displayed a sign on his desk that was impossible to miss: Attitude is Everything. It rang true then, and still does today. A great conversation with Fritz Gilbert (The Retirement Manifesto) helped me appreciate what a difference it can make in transitioning to retirement.

Retirement brings opportunities and choices, along with challenges and losses. What makes a difference in pursuing the former and persevering through the latter? The attitude you adopt. How you look at things essentially determines how you experience them. If you have an opportunity to talk with former colleagues who’ve retired, you’ll see it right away. (I had dinner with two just last night). Listen to how they describe their life in retirement. Most, if not all, have faced some sort of challenge. It’s a funny thing though. Often, the ones who have had the most difficult challenges describe their experiences differently. You can hear it and feel it in their attitude. They are more resilient. There’s a different outlook – and it matters.

You may be thinking, “Some people have always been that way.” True. But the change of pace in the transition to retirement can test even the best attitudes. There’s an adjustment period. It is one of those rare times in life where you really do come upon a fork in the road.  You can make different choices. It’s up to you. It can be a real turning point. (Despite Yogi Berra’s advice).

You may discover that the attitude that helped make you successful in your working years needs some fine-tuning in your retirement years. With a significant shift in how you spend your time, this can be important. How do you ensure that your attitude is in the right shape for retirement? If you’d like to adopt the type of attitude that will be helpful to you (and to the people you care about) there’s a great place to start.

A Matter of Attention 

Begin with gratitude. It doesn’t take much time and it can pay huge dividends.

Gratitude is a practice of taking time to notice, acknowledge and appreciate the good in life. Three Good Things ,developed by Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, is a simple daily practice that’s very effective. Keeping a daily gratitude journal is another. It changes what you pay attention to. After a while, you’ll automatically begin to look for the good – and savor it more.

Why work on gratitude? It’s extremely good for you. A 2018 study by Robustelli and Whisman found that higher levels of overall life satisfaction were correlated with higher levels of gratitude. And in times of loss and adversity, Chopik et al. (2017) found that gratitude can help people see and appreciate the positive sides of life and it encourages greater resilience.

And it might just be a game-changer. Why? Psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson notes that positive emotions “broaden and build” and can create an “Upward Spiral” of other positive emotions, in contrast to negative emotions which can narrow our range.

Prepare for the Soft Side of Retirement

We had a great discussion recently with Fritz Gilbert for our podcast. Fritz is a corporate commodity trader, who is just weeks away from a well-researched and well-planned early retirement at 55. He created his outstanding blog, The Retirement Manifesto, three years ago. At first, he focused primarily on the monetary aspects of creating financial independence and early retirement (FIRE). Over time, he’s written many excellent pieces of the “softer” side of retirement emphasizing how important it is to proactively plan for both sides of retirement. I often retweet his work – it is exceptional and practical. I highly recommend his post on The Ten Commandments of Retirement. You’ll benefit greatly by following his posts.

Listen to our discussion with Fritz on The Retirement Conversation podcast to hear his insights on the softer side of retirement planning. In addition to his wisdom and useful ideas, you can hear and feel his attitude. I  sense that it is one of the most important assets he’s bringing to his retirement. It might give you some ideas on continuing to cultivate your own so you’re in good shape for retirement.

Fritz Gilbert, @RetireManifesto, joins The Retirement Conversation podcast:  Listen here.

 

References

Chopik, W. J., Newton, N. J., Ryan, L. H., Kashdan, T. B., & Jarden, A. J. (2017). Gratitude across the life span: Age differences and links to subjective well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 1-11.

Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Positive emotions broaden and build. In Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 47, pp. 1-53). Academic Press.

Robustelli, B. L., & Whisman, M. A. (2018). Gratitude and life satisfaction in the United States and Japan. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(1), 41-55.