Personal Development

by Denis Wuestman

In helping organizations create better and more efficient work models, one thing that I help them focus on is the mindset shift that has to take place for changes to stick. While this sounds a little “soft” what I am referring to is the fundamental belief that there is always a better way to do your work AND, as a direct result, for people to grow and expand their knowledge and skills. If they think and “act” that way, then will succeed.

In the book “Mindset” by Carol S. Dweck, PhD [i] she identifies the benefits of having a “growth mindset”.   In short, people that cultivate this type of mindset (and they can do it!) will continue to get better at what they do.

In thinking about this and seeing it in practice with teams and managers, I continually remind them and myself of the need to have a real purpose for this mindset shift. In short, they have to feel strongly about what they want to accomplish. In my opinion, without this feeling and focus, the mindset shift will not get a real chance to succeed.

Retirement Attitude

So too can this be applied to the way we think about our retirement life. It is during this stage that our attitude and our purpose become important to having a happier and more successful retirement. The stronger the perception of what we expect of retirement life and, how we align our beliefs and attitudes, gives that expectation a real chance of becoming a reality and continuing our growth as a person.

Like in business, mindset shift takes work but can be very rewarding. I find five important elements to help this shift succeed:

• The “shift” has to be important to you.
• Take small steps – don’t try and “boil the ocean”. Build momentum.
• Repetition is your friend – actions become more part of us if we make them habits by doing them over and over again.
• Be patient. Remember, “if at first you don’t succeed…… “ By the way, you are always learning and growing.
• Get a thinking partner!   This is where a good coach, whether in business or in retirement, can help you. A friend of mine gave me a gem of a saying : “Got a Gap – get a Partner”.

Partnering to Grow

If you think about your career or parts of your life – there are times when a good partner can make all the difference. When trying to make a mindset shift, whether in business or in retirement, a “Thinking Partner” can make all the difference.   A good coach supports your GROWTH by helping you do the following:

1) Take stock of where your today by looking at your current attitude towards retirement.

2) Identify what you want to achieve to help you close your “gaps”.

3) Set Goals by making this something reasonable and achievable for yourself.

4) Define Options (for example by helping you consider things you might have tried already but didn’t necessarily work out. You likely learned something that you might be able to use to help yourself).

5) Take Action!   While you clearly own your actions, a good coach can help you remove obstacles to taking actions, as long as the end game is important to you.   Without action – your goals are just dreams!

6) Check yourself. Monitor progress, make adjustments and keep going.

So – it is possible to achieve a positive attitude about retirement and grow in the process!   Provided it’s important to you to change: start small, repeat, be patient and look for a good “thinking partner” to help your journey!

What are your experiences and tips to help with your retirement mindset?

Listen to our retirement podcast – and bring your Growth Mindset

[i] Dweck, Carol PhD. (2006,2016) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Ballantine Books

by Joe Casey

4 Steps to Say No Gracefully, but Firmly

It’s said that nature abhors a vacuum. You can see that principle at work with the schedules of new retirees. Free space will be filled fast. Sometimes you can become busy with commitments that may not be the right ones for you.

One of the surprises new retirees report is that they quickly become much busier than they expected – or wanted – to be. Suddenly, they find themselves as busy as they were before, just with a different mix of activities, but driven too much by other people’s priorities rather than theirs. Sort of like work all over again, just without the paycheck.

It Seems Harder to Say No

It’s harder to say No when you’ve just retired because you now have all this time – and your ‘go to’ excuses are now gone. But the bill for saying Yes too soon shows up later.

While being active in retirement is very important, becoming overcommitted creates problems:

• Your time gets taken up on things that aren’t aligned with how you ideally want to invest your time
• It limits your ability to respond to new opportunities that arise – the things you really want to do
• New obligations become created and take away from the sense of freedom and flexibility that you worked so hard to have in retirement

Here are a few recommendations, learned the hard way, on how to say No gracefully and protect your time for your highest priorities:

Four Steps to Say No Gracefully

1. Say Thank You

Express your genuine appreciation for being asked.

“Thank you. It’s a real honor to be asked to be a part of this.”

2. Say No Clearly and Early – Don’t Procrastinate

You already know that putting it off won’t make it any easier. In fact, it will make it harder. It’s always tempting to defer and say, ‘Maybe later’. If you sincerely will be interested in the activity later, that’s a fine response. If not, don’t do it. Stick with No. (They will come back and you’ll have to go through this all over again.)

3. Give a Concise Reason

Avoid feeling like you must give a long explanation. Keep it short. The longer your story, the more likely holes can be punched in it.

“I’d really love to, but I’ve committed to my time to X, Y, and Z right now.”

4. Offer an Alternative

This is perhaps the most important step. Provide other options that may be helpful to the person. They’re usually just focused on solving their need and it’s amazing how quickly they’ll move on when you give them a good alternative to pursue.

“Have you thought about Susan, she’d be great for this.”

(For some requests, keep a list of your enemies close at hand. Just kidding).

These ideas are common sense, but they’re not common practice. When you’re newly retired, be selective in what you choose to commit your time to. As the late Stephen Covey advised, every time you say No to a lesser priority, you create space to say Yes to something more important.

 

Joe Casey is a former senior HR executive whos in his second career as an executive coach and retirement coach.