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Retirement Wisdom

Retire Smarter

retirement transition

Boost Your Post-retirement Confidence

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By Bev Bachel

I am.

I’m not.

I can.

I can’t.

Confidence—the feeling of self-assurance that comes from appreciating our abilities and accomplishments—often takes a hit in retirement, in large part because we’ve come to rely on our careers to define who we are and bolster our self-worth. Leave the career behind, and many of us quickly feel less confident … and even less capable.

That’s what happened to Sheila Peyraud. After retiring from a challenging yet rewarding career as chief technology officer of a large manufacturing company in which she routinely tackled challenging problems, she found herself at a complete loss.

“I would never have guessed that I had most of my ego wrapped up in my job, but when I retired, my identity disappeared overnight,” says Peyraud. “That made it clear just how much of my self-esteem was tied to my job. I had no idea. It was really a shock, and my confidence took a hit.”

Peyraud’s loss of confidence in retirement is common. According to an American Psychology Association study, self-esteem rises steadily until retirement, then declines just as steadily thereafter.[1]

But it’s doesn’t have to be this way. Instead, with these strategies, those of us who are retired or nearing retirement can turn “I’m not” back to “I am” and “I can’t” back to “I can.”

Here are eight strategies to help reinvigorate your retirement confidence:

Strategy #1: Set new goals. Run a marathon. Build a cabin. Visit all 50 states. Read a book a week. These are just some of the goals people I know have set … and achieved. In the process, they’ve not only grown their confidence, they’ve proven to themselves (and others) that they have what it takes to succeed.

Strategy #2: Learn something new. Podcasts, including the Retirement Wisdom podcast, are a great way to learn. So is going back to school. That’s what Peyraud did; she enrolled in the University of Minnesota Advanced Careers Fellows Program (UMAC), a nine-month, immersive experience [program?] designed for “encore adults” as they navigate transitions in their work and life. Even though the program has ended, Peyraud continues to take one or two classes per semester, on everything from sociology to electrical engineering.

Strategy #3: Connect with others. It’s so much easier to “get up and go” when you have someone to get up and go with. That’s one of the things Peyraud valued most about her UMAC program; it gave her a cohort of professionals who wanted, needed and valued her support while offering their support in return. “I made some good friends along the way, and we continue to stay in touch and cheer one another on,” says Peyraud.

Strategy #4: Home in on your purpose. While Peyraud started out at a loss, she’s since gotten crystal clear on her purpose, which she defines as “being useful to others and continuous self-development.” The first of these she pursues through tutoring, mentoring, and an open attitude toward others; the second through additional University of Minnesota classes, podcasts (Tim Ferris’ and Brené Brown’s are two of her favorites) and random goals such as learning to play the piano.

Strategy #5: Stretch your comfort zone. Initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know. Attend an event by yourself. Travel to a developing country. Go rock climbing or scuba diving. While these things may at first feel uncomfortable—even frightening—they and other stretches eventually become part of your comfort zone, giving you the confidence to stretch ever further.

Strategy #6: Challenge yourself physically. Come up with a physical challenge that’s realistic for you. For one of my friend’s, it’s running her first-ever 10k. For another, it’s playing pickleball. For Peyraud it’s walking four to five miles a day plus strenuous gardening. “Along the way, I’m building my confidence and proving to myself that I have what it takes to succeed,” says Peyraud. She’s also keeping her body as strong as her mind.

Strategy #7: Engage your imagination. Research shows that our brains don’t differentiate between imagining doing something—delivering a TED Talk, for instance—and actually doing it, so amp up your confidence and your skills by engaging your imagination. Close your eyes and picture yourself with as much detail as possible. Where are you? Who is with you? What are you succeeding at? In what ways are people cheering you on?

“I was self-conscious when I first started taking classes,” says Peyraud. “I was often paired with students 45 years my junior and had to find ways to be useful to them—my organizational skills came in particularly handy—without being a know-it-all. I’ve also found that being vulnerable and admitting what I don’t know has enabled me to learn from my fellow students, everything from software skills to intergenerational thinking.

As a result, Peyraud is confident that she is and that she can.

Bev Bachel is a Twin Cities freelancer who is developing her own retirement confidence by writing blog posts for AARP and Retirement Wisdom.

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/202007/why-are-older-people-happier-less-confident

What’s On Your Retirement Mind?

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by Denis Wuestman

This year we started a series of seminars on the non-financial aspects of retirement with groups of people preparing for this transition as well as those in their early years of retirement.

Since everyone’s experience is different, it was insightful to see how people felt about this new part of their lives, sharing their principles, fears and successes.  We asked them what their most important concerns are when thinking about the non-financial aspects of a retirement transition.

Retirement Concerns

Here are the Top 5 with some tips on how to deal with them:

  • Fear of Loneliness. This was a concern especially among those who may have lost a spouse or in cases where one’s immediate family may live far away.  Very often it occurs once one leaves their job as their social connections have changed.  To counter this, the importance of community and having strong friendships was important.  Continuing to actively pursue relationships with people of all ages, moving to a retirement community, continuing to work or volunteer are all possible counteractions to loneliness.

 

  • Uncertainty about Health. This was not surprising as people age.  However, when discussing how to take better care of one’s self, they highlighted the importance of intellectual stimulation, having strong relationships both with family and friends and the importance of becoming more spiritual and/or closer to nature.  While there are things about health that are beyond one’s control in some respects – one could opt for a healthy lifestyle and maintain a positive attitude towards life and change.

 

  • What to Do with Time. While many enjoyed the freedom of retirement, they recognized that the concept of time changes.  It is no longer defined by a workday.  Some will enjoy the freedom of leisure or treating every day as a Saturday, while others felt it was important to find new passions and a reason to get up in the morning.  Few expressed being satisfied with having nothing to do with their time.  To counter this, having a plan for your newfound free time, discussing with your spouse (if applicable) and saying yes to some things were all important to help explore and discover the right answer for you.  HINT:  Don’t be reluctant to make changes if the plan is not working out for you.

 

  • An Expectation of Oneself. Conduct an inward reflection of what is most important as that can help form principles on how this next part of life will unfold.  While clearly a deeper introspection, the linkage between personal vision, values and mindset surfaced as important elements in the retirement equation.   How does one do this?  Attending a seminar such as the one this group attended, reading books, talking with others and working with a retirement coach were all areas mentioned where one could gain a deeper awareness of their personal needs to help with this journey.

 

  • Missing Elements About Work. While looking forward to the freedom of not working it was clear that work provided non-financial benefits.   First, was the benefit of providing structure and organization in one’s daily life (my personal favorite).  Becoming accustomed to a loss of structure took time and a few found it a very difficult adjustment.   In addition, having one’s identity wrapped into their work required another adjustment and going cold turkey when it comes to understanding the impact of this identity shift was not recommended.   Finally, work was identified as important to socialization, providing purpose, and providing an avenue for continued growth and learning. Options to consider included clearly understanding the areas where there are voids and then exploring how to replace them.  For example, if how to structure your day in retirement is important, then experiment with creating different approaches and routines.  Try it for a few months and see how it feels, then adjust as needed.

Connections between Concerns

What became evident was how these concerns could be interconnected and addressing one could have an impact on the others.    In short:

  • Stay connected with friends, family and make efforts to meet new people of all ages.
  • Recognize the importance of taking care of one’s body, mind and spirit.
  • Plan for how you will spend your TIME and how to structure your day in retirement before you retire.
  • Understanding what work provided you.  There is a connection to social relationships, overall health in the form of intellectual stimulation, and providing purpose in one’s life.  How does one adjust to life without work if they simply haven’t thought about it?

Perhaps most important was understanding what you really expect from yourself in retirement.  How do you do this?  It starts with getting a good grasp on what’s important to you and what you value most in this part of your life.    Understanding your core values can greatly help focus on where to put your life energies in retirement.

 

Denis can be reached at denisw@retirementwisdom.com

Retiring This Year? 6 Tips to Help Your Journey

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by Denis Wuestman

For many people, starting a new year is often accompanied by resolutions to do something different. The areas that seem to get the most attention focus on health or work as evidenced by increases in gym memberships, new diets or job searches.  In many cases, this will require creating new habits and searching for the personal incentive to sustain a new path.

As someone who has spent many years helping companies transform the way they work, I see strong parallels between work processes and the more personal aspects of one’s life.  One thing is very clear – change is a journey and requires the ability to learn from and then let go of the old way in order to progress. In addition, a high degree of flexibility is necessary to help make adjustments and keep moving forward.

The Continuous Journey

I often remind managers that every time they reach a destination, they should treat that arrival as a new departure point for the next destination. This is a way to ensure continuous and long-lasting improvements.  The same can easily hold true in one’s life. Each step we take towards a goal gives us the momentum to launch towards the next destination as part of our journey.

This philosophy can be applied to people considering a transition into retirement. After years of full-time work, many enter retirement with high expectations for this exciting part of their lives.  However, it’s how they prepare for the transition that can make a big difference in their satisfaction. Since this is a major change one may need to create some new habits to help them along.

6 Tips to Build a Learning & Doing Habit

Is this the year you plan on making the transition to retirement? If so, you have likely spent a lot of time focused on the financial side of the equation, and hopefully, have a good plan.  To accompany that piece, here are six tips to help you prepare for the non-financial aspects of a retirement transition. Along the way be sure to have some fun and keep the momentum alive.

1) Determine what is most important to you.  This will take some soul searching but can help you focus on this next stage of your life. Do you envision yourself continuing to work? Is there a particular cause that you want to invest time in? How do you want to spend your days?  Outside of the realm of activities also consider what do you want to improve in order to meet your personal expectations? Examples are health or relationships or even one’s own mindset.

2) What do you have to leave behind? Very often, understanding what you have to let go of is critical to helping you move forward. Similar to learning how to walk or ride a bike, it’s when we let go of someone’s hand or lose those training wheels that we truly grow and learn.

3) Prioritize.  Perhaps there are multiple things important to you. Choose 1 or 2 things to get started, and create some clear goals. Knowing how you will recognize success should be part of your goal.

4) Plan & Act.  This is where you can easily struggle, but a goal without action is just a dream (saw that in a card store and loved it!).   Resist making this too complicated but rather focus on making progress. Any action no matter how small is good.  Then hold yourself accountable.

5) Learn and adjust.  This can be the fun part of the journey. As you take actions, what are you learning? What adjustments do you have to make in order to better navigate your journey? What do you want to change?

6) Set Next Destination. Now that you have made any course adjustments, what’s your next landing point? Create actions, try it, learn and adjust – keep going!

Success Factors

In trying anything new and/or building new habits here some things to keep in mind:

  • Time. Like anything worthwhile, an investment of your time and focus is paramount. It’s work! Hence, if your goals are not important to you then you will not spend the appropriate time focusing on them.  Carve out time in your day or week to work on your goals and complete the actions.
  • Get a Partner.  Having someone you trust to help you negotiate options, prioritize or even hold yourself accountable is invaluable. While you might have the best ideas, you may not be strong in turning them into actions.  Here is where a trusted thinking partner can help.  Often having someone objective and unrelated to you, like a coach, is a perfect solution for this.
  • Practice.  Trying new things is a great way to nurture new habits. Progress over perfection is the key. Think about when you first took on a new assignment at work or learned a new exercise. Until you tried it, you couldn’t possibly know what you needed to do to improve. So while practice may not necessarily make you perfect….it will build your confidence!
  • Flexibility quotient. What’s yours? Maybe you don’t know. Building new habits, particularly when making a transition to retirement takes a high degree of flexibility in thinking and behaviors.  Learning that change is your friend and not be easily deterred from what is important to you is critical. In a past article, I mentioned the need to be “Gumby-like”. This means that one must be able to bend, learn, adjust and grow, as you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve.

Retirement is not something you complete. Rather it’s a growing journey and is best supported by attitude, actions, and practice.   Like anything worthwhile – you might want to create some new habits to help you along the way!

Denis can be reached at denisw@retirementwisdom.com

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Aging in the Suburbs – Is This Realistic or Risky?

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 By Susan Williams

 

 

The suburbs. Where homes were built outside city limits so young families could enjoy home ownership and having their own backyard.

 

Suburban life really started to boom after World War II when many war vets returned home and wanted to settle down.

At that time the suburbs were ideal.

They were typically located just outside the major cities. Given the increased capabilities to commute to the city because of the infrastructure to support cars and trains, it became a great place to get a larger home and space and raise a family.

However today the suburbs are filled with baby boomers.

Back in 1950, only 7.4% of the population living in the suburbs was over 65 – in 2014 it was at 14.5% and this percentage is only going to increase as baby boomers continue to age.

But are the suburbs really the best place to age?

Homes that were built in the suburbs were typically designed for young families. Often two stories, mobility within the home was never really thought of as part of the design equation. Stairs, laundry rooms, bathrooms were all designed with a young family in mind. Not for someone who was older or who possibly may have mobility issues.

Transit systems were often slow to develop in the suburbs or if they were available, were not necessarily that convenient to use to move around. Cars were the main mode of transportation.

There were also typically only a few stores that would be in walking distance of a home in the suburbs. Groceries, clothes and just about every other essential was reached by driving in the car. Malls were the mainstay of the suburban shopping experience.

Community centers also popped up across the suburbs and often housed gyms, swimming pools, ice rinks and other sports or interests that young people were often interested in. But again, many in the community would have to drive in order to get there.

The AARP reported that 87% of people over the age of 65 want to remain in their own homes and age in place.

However the question is will the suburbs be able to support this demand?

In an article published by the CBC, an urban planner suggests that the following questions should be asked when aging in the suburbs;

 

                                “Where can I walk to in two minutes? In five minutes? In 10 minutes?”

 

“People, he says, should be able to walk to a parkette in two minutes, and the bus stop in five — what he calls the building blocks of sustainability and community livability.”

What also needs to be considered is how to deliver services to the elderly in the suburbs. Healthcare, food delivery, home renovation and maintenance are just examples of some things that need to be addressed. Plus there is also the need to ensure that elders remain socially engaged which may require increased demand for mobility support as driving possibly becomes a challenge.

So, aging in the suburbs is possible. But more services and support will be needed in order to help ensure that we reduce the risks.

 

This article originally appeared on Booming Encore and was reprinted with permission.

 

Susan Williams is the Founder of Booming Encore – a website and social media network dedicated to providing information and inspiration to help Baby Boomers create and live their very best encore. Being a Boomer herself, Susan loves to discover ways to live life to the fullest. She shares her experiences, observations and opinions on living life after 50 and personally tries to embrace Booming Encore’s philosophy of making sure every day matters. For daily updates to help you live your best encore, be sure to follow Booming Encore on Twitter and join them on Facebook.

5 Tips On HowStructure Can Help Your Retirement Transition

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by Denis Wuestman

If you are thinking of retiring from full time work and are not sure what it will be like, you are in for one certain thing– an adjustment. Two main things I hear from people who have transitioned are: 1) dealing with a change in their identity from worker to retiree and, 2) that their days are less structured and they are not sure if they like that or not. In the short term these may not feel like big issues but once you have spent some time in retirement, not preparing for these changes can lead to a source of unrest. In this article, I will focus on the structure challenge and how it can help your transition to retirement.

Why Structure?

There is a lot to look forward to in retirement. However, for those that have been used to the structure of a work life, it can feel like jumping off a treadmill without slowing down. Our working lives are very much characterized by a definite pattern to our days, nights and weekends. It provides us direction for when to eat, work, play and sleep. Structure was a great friend when we worked, so why not in retirement? The key is to not abandon structure but to incorporate it into our retirement life.

Symptoms of Retirement Drift

Having potentially spent decades at a work life, we have clearly created a cadence to our lives. When you retire without a plan as to how you will deal with a change to that cadence, you may experience retirement drift. Drifting can be characterized by doing things that just fill time or that lack real satisfaction. Here are two such indications of drift that I have either experienced personally or have seen in others:

• Watching the Clock – How much do you notice the ticking of the clock when you are busy working at something you like? Probably not much. Quite the opposite if you are not busy on meaningful activities. It can feel like a bit of a drag and it is not unusual for one to feel guilty or anxious about how the day is going. Funny how you may look forward to the proverbial 5PM – quitting time – so you can actually give yourself permission to relax. But you are retired, you should feel good about how you spend your time and the clock shouldn’t make you feel guilty. How long will it take before you no longer think of a quitting time?

• Every Day is Saturday – For many, Saturdays are a time for hanging out, doing chores, going out for dinner, sleeping in or staying up later than normal. A well-deserved change-up from the pace of the week. Now, what happens if every day becomes Saturday? Perhaps you are ready for that, but beware of bad habits related to your diet and sleep patterns. Also, Saturdays tend to be a day to play or socialize with others. Will you be able to do that during the week? Many people anticipating retirement flock to retirement communities that offer social activities so that most days can feel like a Saturday. That’s fine if that is what you like, but what happens if that lifestyle is not for you?

Tips to Try

How do you deal with or avoid drift? Awareness is job one! Before you retire you may want to start thinking about your expectations as to what your retirement life will be like. If you are already in retirement – it’s not too late to take stock of where you are today and make some adjustments. Here are some tips that may be helpful in either case:

1. Give yourself a break. Any adjustment takes time, patience and being flexible about trying some new things. While you are going through this journey remember to do fun things. You deserve it. Think back to all the years you worked – now be thankful that you are at this next stage and think positive. Give yourself permission to enjoy. Be grateful!

2. Set some GOALS. To help with this I suggest the following approach:
a. First – let’s define what a goal should look like. Using this simple acronym popularized in business management – simply think SMART. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Time-bound.
b. Start with thinking about the next month ahead of you. What would you like to accomplish or start doing when it comes to the main aspects of your life? This will likely include considerations about Health, Self, Working (if you choose), Friends and Family.

3. Get STARTED. Select 1 or 2 things to put some real actions behind with a commitment as to when you will do them. The key here is to get moving. This can help greatly with clock watching. Get busy!

4. Share these Goals and Actions with someone you trust. Make a commitment to yourself and to them.

5. Celebrate your actions and accomplishments. However you choose to celebrate, this is a great way to keep encouraging yourself.

Recognize that you are building a new structure for your time and, like anything worthwhile and new, it can take time. Keep notes and share your stories with others. Having goals and making strides towards accomplishing them will give you a mental boost as well as start you on your way towards a structure for your days/weeks and months. Finally, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. It’s your choice – but these simple tips can help you dodge the drift.