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Will Your Personality Change in Retirement?

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By Joe Casey

While passing by and seeing this title, my wife commented, “Let’s hope so.” Oh, well.

Our personalities were previously thought to develop early in life through childhood, adolescence and early adulthood and then remain fairly static. Now it appears that certain aspects of personality evolve later in life.

Does Your True Personality Become More Apparent in Retirement?

“As individuals age, they become increasingly like themselves…the personality structure stands more clearly revealed in an old than in a younger person.” (Hooker, 2002).

Retirees often reconnect with passions and interests they had earlier in life, and now have time to pursue them again. Taking a life-course perspective, certain interests can come full circle – and perhaps certain personality traits do as well.

The ‘Big Five’ Personality Traits

The five-factor model of personality consists of five dimensions:

  • Openness to Experience (having a range of interests, imagination and insight)
  • Conscientiousness (being responsible, organized, detailed and thorough)
  • Extraversion (being outgoing, high-energy and assertive)
  • Agreeableness (being sympathetic, considerate and warm)
  • Emotional Stability (or Neuroticism) – (even-keeled versus tense and anxious)

What Tends to Change

Of the Big Five factors, Agreeableness and Conscientiousness have been found to increase in the fifth and sixth decades of life and beyond, while Openness to Experience has been found to decrease (Roberts & Mroczek, 2008). It’s important to note, that like the aging process itself, there are general trends, but significant individual differences. Life experiences, environmental circumstances and genetics all play a role. For example, one study found that remarried men were found to have lower Neuroticism (Roberts & Mroczek, 2008).

Conscientiousness generally increases with age. This often manifests itself in more attention to habits and behaviors that can serve as mediating factors to neutralize stress, avoid disease and enhance health (Roberts, 2006).

Unfortunately, scammers seem to know the Agreeableness trend and use it to prey on elderly adults. (As an undergraduate Psychology major, I often wondered who knew more about human nature? My professors or the criminal element I came across in my hometown north of Boston. Discuss…).

Why It Matters

These personality changes tend to create greater “social maturity”. This enhanced social maturity leads to greater connectivity and stronger relationships that, in turn, are associated with better health outcomes (Roberts & Mroczek, 2008).

If you sense these changes in yourself or your partner (‘He’s so much more mellow now’), embrace them. They’re probably very good for both of you and your health and well being.

Joe Casey is a former senior HR executive, who is in his second career as an executive coach and retirement coach at retirementwisdom.com.

References

Costa Jr, P. T., & McCrae, R. R. (2006). Age changes in personality and their origins: comment on Roberts, Walton, and Viechtbauer (2006).

Hannon, K. (2014, August 8). Finding an identity beyond the workplace: There’s more to retirement than financial planning. The New York Times. Retrieved at https://www.nytimes.com

Hooker, K. (2002). New directions for research in personality and aging: A comprehensive model for linking levels, structures and processes. Journal of Research in Personality, 36, 318-334.

Shanahan, M. J., Hill, P. L., Roberts, B. W., Eccles, J., & Friedman, H. S. (2014). Conscientiousness, health, and aging: the life course of personality model. Developmental Psychology, 50(5), 1407.

Srivastava, S. (2016). Measuring the Big Five Personality Factors. Retrieved 21 December 2016 from .

Roberts, B. W., Walton, K. E., & Viechtbauer, W. (2006). Personality traits change in adulthood: Reply to Costa and McCrae (2006).

 

Coaching is Not Just for Sports

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by Denis Wuestman

How many of us have watched a sports coach, been coached by a sports coach or coached a sports team? I would think that you would fall into one of these categories.   So, in sports, coaches play an important role as they very often are responsible for organizing a team, creating a strategy for how a team executes, adjusting the game plan, running practices and instructing individuals to become better at what they do and how they contribute. it’s the same with a life coach.

Sports and Life – Some Parallels

Sport mimics life in many ways, at least for me. In sports, there are daily practices, game plans, the game itself, adjustments, another practice, another game, practice new things..etc. Let’s go to normal life – there are daily rituals, jobs, family, adjustments we make to meet the demands of life, another day, more lessons that help us adjust etc…of course I oversimplified this but you get the picture. So why is it that we think of coaches for only sports – while in certain elements of life a coach would come in handy?  Ok- I get that sports teams need that central figure to work – in fact good coaches can really help a team and visa versa. So where can coaching really help us in life?

Advisor vs. Coach

First let’s see where you might seek the help of others. Perhaps you have advisors like a financial planner or doctor or even a close friend or family member. Clearly they have an expertise that you rely upon and are very important to our daily lives. Yet as advisors they make recommendations and give advice.   While a coach in sports may do the same thing – there are great examples of life coaches who help others “think through” a situation and help them uncover the answer for themselves. I like to refer to this as a “thinking partner” and have used this successfully in business leadership situations where the manager is trying to get the work done while at the same time helping their employee grow in their roles. This is where the real power of coaching comes in.   It is transformational to the person on the receiving end.

What’s it like to be coached?

Having been on both sides of this (coachee and a coach) there are a lot of positives to receiving coaching. Among the benefits of having a great “thinking partner” is someone who listens, prods, helps you reflect, generates insights, guides you to think about vision, goals, actions and then helps you reflect on the learning as you start to take actions. It’s very similar to having a good mentor at work – if you were so fortunate. Someone who asks you great questions to help you get to the next step provide you a sounding board to bounce things off of, and help you create action, refine them and keep moving forward is a great coach. Time with a good coach feels like when you had one of your best days in school or when you learned something brand new. It feeds your personal drive and desire to grow.

Why Retirement Coaching could be help you GROW in retirement?

When we retire do we stop growing?   Or better perhaps – how do we want to continue to grow when we retire? What does growth mean to us?   Opening up new avenues for learning, sharing, being active, working at something meaningful, taking care of yourself and others can all help feed our personal growth.   This indeed is a very personal journey and different for each one of us.   So let’s assume you want to continue to learn, experience, grow as a person in your retirement years, but are not sure what areas you need to “tap” or how you do it – then a retirement coach may help you unravel that puzzle.   They will help you use your strengths and past experiences to create the next part of your growth. Retirement coaching is not for everyone but for people that really want to tap into their energies.

Have you ever been coached (other than sports) in any way shape or form? What were your experiences like?

Listen to our retirement podcast and learn how a life coach or retirement coach can help balance your retirement planning.

My Thinking About Retirement Needed an Adjustment

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by Denis Wuestman

There was a time not long ago that I had created for myself a picture of what it would be like to stop working – commonly referred to as “retirement”.   I convinced myself that I would find great pleasure in not having to get up early, commute long distances and have little time for relaxation.   In fact, I created a vision of what my days would be like but my vision became fuzzy when I realized that the activities I planned would occupy so little of my time, and it got me thinking.  So I looked to experiment a little first, figuring I would follow a “phased retirement approach”, being comfortable that I could alter the course at any point if need be. This philosophy served me well at other times in my professional life – so why not try it again?

Some Experiments

The first thing I did was to negotiate not having to be in a traditional office setting 5 days a week – I would telecommute 1 day and, in addition, started to take more regular Friday’s off during the nicer weather months.  This was a big adjustment but started to feel good as it was giving me time to reflect and really think about what is next for me – how do I want to spend my time, what will keep me energized and engaged. This was a true turning point for me and taught me the power of reflection.

I soon realized that this was not something I wanted to figure out alone – so I spoke to good friend of mine who would encourage me to “try” some different things – reading books, speaking to different people and taking an assessment about what my perception of retirement currently is vs. what I expected it to be. BINGO! That opened me up to an interesting perspective about this so called retirement and led me to conclude – that this is about LIFE – not about stopping something but about pursuing fulfillment in ways that I haven’t thought of.

Moving off the Career Treadmill to the Next Phase

Leaving the traditional work force was no easy task – as a matter of fact – it took time, a lot of planning and buy-in from others, but, after 3 and a half decades, I was ready to get off that “treadmill”.   A friend of mine once said to me to “Be Careful” about stepping off the career “treadmill” too quickly as we became so used to it – that we might find it hard to replace the things we liked about the “treadmill”.   Great advice.  Replacement became an important theme for me – as my personal assessment told me that my identity from my job was important to me (sound familiar?). Not surprised – as many of my friends/colleagues experience the exact same thing.   Perhaps, my greatest lesson here came from a relative who at age 62 “retired” after a long career as a blue collar worker.   He would sit on the porch of his house (yes there were porches where I grew up!), read papers and putter around.  But, when I visited him, I noticed that he was unsettled.  It wasn’t until he took a part time job working in a non-profit environment that he became happier.  He needed to replace what he missed about work and chose to do something that he had not done before.   Hmmm….

I understood that my thinking about retirement needed an adjustment and that  I had a lot of things to work on including where work “fit” into my life – but not just any work – productive and fulfilling work that I would enjoy.   I learned how to be patient and to try things and probably most important – to enjoy the journey.

My Lessons along the Retirement/Life path

  • Stop and assess where you are from various perspectives – not just one or two. Think about your purpose, your time, your financial situation, what energizes you, what makes you “tick”.
  • Open your mind to understanding more about yourself and what is important to you and your closest relationships.
  • Realize that getting off the career “treadmill” is an adjustment – much bigger for some people. Spend time on that!
  • Think of retirement differently– it’s our life we are talking about.
  • Surround yourself with positive people as much as you can.
  • Be a “sponge” – talk to people going through the same thing you are. Seek guidance if you need to.
  • Be flexible – (I have to remind myself of that at least every few hours)
  • Adjust as you Learn – but continue to Learn!

What is your current thinking about what retirement transition means for you?

 

Listen to our retirement podcast and learn more about how to retire well and adjusting to retirement.

Preparing for Retirement? Strengthen Your Social Network

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by Joe Casey

As you get closer to retirement, are you thinking more about your health? I know I am. Perhaps you’re focusing more on wellness and fitness lately. Have you seen the flurry of recent articles alerting us that sitting is the new smoking? Indeed, there are real dangers to our health if we aren’t moving enough throughout the day.

But this isn’t about smoking or fitness. I’m fairly confident you know about the health implications of both. I want to share with you another risk to our health that researchers have identified, and which doesn’t receive as much press. While sitting too much is dangerous, so is being a hermit (and being a sedentary hermit is even worse).

Isolation is Bad for Your Physical Health

The first studies linking social connectedness and health were conducted in the late 1970s and established an association between a lack of social relationships and higher rates of mortality. Here’s more evidence that isolation is bad for your physical well-being:

  • A number of studies found that a lack of social connectedness is a big risk factor to health and longevity, comparable to other risk factors such as smoking and a sedentary lifestyle.¹
  • In fact, social isolation has been found to pose a greater health risk than hypertension and obesity.²
  • A meta-analysis of 70 studies covering over 3 million participants, found that social isolation, loneliness and living alone were associated with an ‘increased likelihood of death’ by 26%, 29% and 32% respectively.³

I thought about my daughter as I gathered the research on social connectedness – and how important it is to her that she integrates socially into her new environment at college.

What happens to that natural need for social connectedness as we age? Does it decrease or is it just more challenging to fulfill? Retirement often cuts people off from a significant social network- and that it can be challenging to replace.

Being Socially Proactive is Important

But there is good news. While isolation is bad for us, the flip side is also true. Higher levels of social connectedness are associated with better health, lower mortality rates and an enhanced quality of life.

There are factors, often beyond a person’s control, like illness or disability that can make social connectedness challenging. However, this is something many of us can do something about. As with other lifestyle modifications, a proactive approach is very important.

For example, participation in religious groups and volunteering have been tied to overall health benefits.4 The level of engagement a person has in their leisure activities to be a predictor of social connectedness.5 Engaging more in activities and hobbies you truly enjoy, including learning new things, may be helpful, especially if those activities which involve social interaction.

Social vs. ‘Social’

It’s worth noting that this is not about the number of Facebook friends, Twitter followers or LinkedIn connections you have. It’s not sufficient to simply increase the number of a social relationships, as that offers little health benefit. Having meaningful social relationships and interactions is what is most important6.

Building and maintaining social relationships takes time, especially meaningful ones. Relationships with friends and family can sometimes take a backseat to work and other demands. This research is a reminder that these meaningful relationships should not be taken for granted.

Implications for Retirement: Diversify Your Social Portfolio

Leaving the workplace means that many of your relationships will change. Successfully transitioning to life in retirement takes planning. For good reason, there is an emphasis on advance planning for the financial part of the equation. Likewise, just as it is smart to construct a diversified portfolio of investments for retirement, it’s also beneficial to build a diverse set of meaningful relationships apart from the workplace.

My takeaway from all this: it’s important to begin to cultivate some new relationships in advance of retirement, rather than starting that process after retirement. One way to begin is by taking a thoughtful approach to what activities to get involved with. This can set the stage for new relationships to evolve.

Joe Casey is a retirement coach who writes for The RW Blog, a retirement lifestyle blog at retirementwisdom.com.

References

  1. House, J. S., Landis, K. R., & Umberson, D. (1988). Social relationships and health. Science, 241, 540-545.
  2. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B. (2016). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for CVD: implications for evidence-based patient care and scientific inquiry.Heart, 102, 987-989.
  3. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B., & Layton, J.B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. Public Library of Science Medicine, 7: e1000316
  4. Preidt, Robert. Volunteering May Make People Happier, Study Finds. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20130823/volunteering-may-make-people-happier-study-finds
  5. Toepoel, V. (2013). Ageing, leisure, and social connectedness: how could leisure help reduce social isolation of older people?Social Indicators Research, 113(1), 355-372.
  6. Lubben, J. (2016).Isolation kills! Social isolation a real danger for the elderly. https://squaredawayblog.bc.edu/squared-away/social-isolation-a-real-danger-for-elderly/

 

Are You Ready for a Gap Year?

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by Joe Casey

Our youngest daughter left for college this fall. Last spring when she was considering her future path, she came home one day excited that one of her friends would be taking a Gap Year.

The ensuing conversation turned out to be an eye-opener for me because it changed my whole outlook on what happens during gap years.

And surprisingly, this led me to think differently about life at the other end of the career spectrum from my daughter’s: retirement.

But before I share my epiphany and how it could affect your retirement plans, I’m going to go back to that initial moment when my daughter brought up the idea of taking time off. It’s important because it lays the groundwork for what I’m about to share with you.

Like a Lot of People, I Didn’t Believe in Taking Time Off

Hearing my daughter’s excitement about Gap Year caused a small yet urgent alarm to go off inside me. I decided I’d better take action: this was a good time to take a short break from telling the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn, and have a heart-to-heart with her. It was the perfect opportunity to share our official family policy (well, mine at least) on Gap Years.

‘If it doesn’t involve going to the mall and getting a job at The Gap, it’s a non-starter’ I explained.

OK, I’ve been known to be a bit Old School at certain times, and this was one of those times. To me, it seems straightforward: graduate from high school, then either go to college or get a job. Simple. No roaming the Australian outback or cruising the Amazon River Basin in search of yourself.

My Daughter Quickly Set Me Straight

Alas, as with most of life’s important choices, this turned out not to be as simple as I’d thought. Among many things I’ve learned about our youngest daughter is that she is strong-willed. Not to be deterred, she decided that I needed some continuing education in this subject area.

Fair enough. I listened to her explain the benefits of the Gap Year program that her friend had decided to embark upon. Secretly proud of her logic and debating skills at first, I suddenly realized with mild panic that she was actually winning me over. I’ll have to admit: she made a lot of good points, most of which I had not considered until that moment.

Career Benefits to a Gap Year?

First, I learned that there is a real structure behind Gap Year programs – it’s not about just roaming the savannah. I learned that there is actually an American Gap Year Association  (who knew?). There are other established organizations, too – indeed an entire industry – aimed specifically at helping young people organize (and benefit from) their Gap Year experiences.

Some U.S. colleges and universities are even officially recognizing and legitimizing the Gap Year with special fellowships for graduating high school seniors. Princeton University and the UNC/Chapel Hill are two notable examples.

And here’s why: the American Gap Year Association has found that a year away is helpful in several ways:

  1. giving students a break from the academic grind
  2. reducing burnout
  3. raising self-awareness
  4. achieving higher GPAs in college
  5. greater clarity on their career interests
  6. higher satisfaction with their work after college

I also learned that Gap Years are not for everyone and there have to be the right resources and support in place.

A Gap Year Isn’t Just for College Students

So here’s why I’m telling you all this. Isn’t there some truth to the saying ‘Youth is wasted on the young’? Why just between high school and college? What about between your working career and retirement?

The parallels are so clear: if some students face burnout after four years of high school, what about adults who have raised a family or worked 30 years? Or both? Wouldn’t a Gap Year help the rest of us get clarity on what to do next? Could that lead to higher satisfaction with what people decide to do after they retire? (Darn it, where’s our Gap Year for Grown-Ups Association?)

Enter the Post-Career Gap Year. 

Introducing the Post-Career Gap Year

In fact, I came to find out, it looks like many grown-ups are creating their own post-career Gap Years – and then some. A recent Merrill Lynch/Age Wave survey¹ found that 52% of retirees surveyed take a break from working when they retire to “relax, recharge and retool” before re-engaging with various pursuits.

The good news for them is, a Career Builder survey² discovered that over half of employers in the U.S. hired “mature” workers in 2014, which is up from the previous year.

What’s striking, however, is that the Merrill Lynch/Age Wave survey found that the average break between working and re-engaging in post-retirement activities was 2½ years.

That means Gap Years – plural – which may or may not be such a great idea. The survey sounded a note of caution that taking a 2½ year sabbatical may make re-entry more difficult if work is part of your future plans. So maybe a Gap Year – or so – would be just right.

Interested? Our retirement coaches can help you design one that’s right for you.

What would you do with a Grown-Up Gap Year?

 

Joe Casey is a former senior HR executive who’s pivoted to a second career as a retirement coach.

 

Listen to our retirement podcast here.

References

  1. Leisure in Retirement: Beyond the Bucket List.(2016). A Merrill Lynch Retirement Study conducted in partnership with Age Wave. ml.com
  2. The number of Senior Workers Delaying Retirement Reaches New Post-Recession Low. (2015). From Career Builder’s Annual Retirement Survey