Retirement Wisdom

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Retirement Wisdom

Aging Well in a World of Avocado Toast & Insta-Everything.

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By Juanita Pienaar

Aging well is so much more than just taking care of your physical body. While eating well and exercising is essential, taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally is a powerful way to live your very best life as you get older. Spending time to learn new skills and doing the things that keep you engaged in life can make a massive difference in how you approach this new phase of your life.

Embrace change.

The world is a very different place from 20 years ago. It is a very different place even from just five years ago. Things are changing rapidly, and it might sometimes be a bit overwhelming to keep up. You don’t need to, but staying up to date with new developments and technologies or different ways of doing things can contribute to aging well. Not only does it encourage you to continue learning new things, but it can also maybe even make life a bit easier.

One of the best, and most fun, ways to learn about these new things is to spend time with younger people. They usually have their fingers on the pulse of everything new and useful. Don’t underestimate the very young people – it is amazing what a 7-year-old can teach you about your smartphone and probably even your TV!

Eat right.

We can all agree that young folks did not invent avocado toast, but they sure are onto something with it. There is a rise in demand for food that is organic, healthy, and nutritious. Aging well includes eating well. Today there is a diversity of healthy and delicious options to include variety in your diet. Don’t be afraid to try a new and trendy meal, and be sure to include a variety of fresh fruit and vegetables into your meals each day.

Have a plan.

Life does not stop once you retire or when you get older. John Rowe and Robert Kahn stated that Successful Aging included decreasing the likelihood of developing disease and disease-related disabilities, keeping your mind and body strong and healthy, and engaging with life.

The best way to not become stagnant and aging well is to keep making plans, set goals, and to do the things that you have always put off for later, for when you were less busy. Yes, there are the mundane tasks like grocery shopping and doing laundry, but focus on achieving things that give you a sense of satisfaction. Take up a new hobby or learn a new language. Make a list of goals or achievements that you would like to accomplish and do something every day that would move you closer to obtaining it.

Do things that make you feel most alive.

For some people, this could mean jumping out of an airplane or going diving with sharks. For others, it could be standing outside, feeling the wind in their hair and on their face. Or it could simply mean sitting in your favorite spot with a good book and a cup of tea or spending time with the younger members of your family. Aging well means finding the joy in each day.

There are plenty of stereotypes ascribed to older adults. Many of them hold the ideology of aging well, from grannies who are famous for their cookies and pies to granddads who teach their grandchildren to ride bikes.

Defy the stereotype.

There are also many negative stereotypes connected to growing older. Holding these negative stereotypes can influence your physical health. People who have a negative view of getting older, on average, live 7.5 years shorter. They have poorer memory and cognition and have a lower chance of recovering from severe disability.

Here is the secret to aging well: Our expectations of what it would be like to grow old – those negative stereotypes – are not true for the majority of people.

Prioritize self-care.

Aging well means taking care of yourself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Spend time each day doing something that makes you feel cared for, which makes you feel nurtured and cherished. Take a long hot bath with candles and some Epsom salts or essential oil, or spend time with your pets. Pursue activities that make you your soul feel full.

Getting older is a massive transition period, and it could become a bit overwhelming at times. Taking care of your body, mind, and soul is integral in aging well and living a healthy and fulfilling life. Spend time on the things that make you feel joyful and alive. Take time for yourself and spend time with those who inspire you to learn and grow. Most of all – focus on enjoying this space that you are in – you have earned it.

Juanita Pienaar is a writer in Johannesburg. An honours graduate in Psychology, she spent 5 years living and traveling abroad, is an Hatha yoga teacher and a retired scuba dive instructor.

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How Can You Be Better with Age? – Alan Castel

Buddy Up for Success

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By Bev Bachel

Lost your goalsetting mojo now that the coronavirus has you stuck at home? Get it back with the help of a goal buddy.

A goal buddy is a person who cares about you and your goals and offers you the tools and support you need to succeed. A goal buddy benefits from your support, too.

A Joint Effort

Take Bobby and Mary Ann Gast, for instance. Married and in their mid-60s, they are goal buddies in recovering from surgery; Mary Ann had her left knee replaced in January, and Bobby his right knee in April.

In addition to caring for one another post-surgery, the two have buddied up to set physical activity goals. “The other day we went to a local state park and walked a nature trail that was both rocky and hilly,” says Mary Ann. “It challenged our knees, but we cheered each other along the way and that really helped.”

The two also encourage one another to eat healthier. “We’ve been following the keto diet for three years now,” says Mary Ann. “By holding ourselves and one another accountable, we’ve both lost weight and lowered our blood pressure and cholesterol levels, goals we wanted to achieve before Bobby retires in the next year or two.”

Found in Translation

While Mary Ann and Bobby share the same house, goal buddies Fred and Lourdes don’t even share the same continent. What they do share, however, is a goal of becoming more proficient in another language.

Fred, who grew up speaking Italian and now lives in San Antonio, wants to improve his written Spanish, while Lourdes, whose native language is Spanish, wants to improve her ability to read and write Italian.

They buddied up several years back via ConversationExchange.com, an online platform that pairs native speakers of one language with native speakers of another.

“It’s been great,” says Fred. “We’re not only helping one another achieve our language-related goals, we’ve become friends.”

Ready to Buddy Up?

Here are seven tips to help you find a goal buddy and ensure the success of your buddy-ship:

Tip #1: Zero in on your goal. Choose something that is both specific and measurable. A goal such as “I want to volunteer four hours a month” is a better goal than “I want to make a difference” because it makes it clear exactly what you plan to do. Also establish a deadline, a specific date by which you’ll be able to say, “I did it!”

Tip #2: Seek a like-minded buddy. Your goal buddy should be someone you trust and respect, a goal-getter who is serious about his or her own goals and willing to help you be serious about yours. Ideally, you should have enough in common so that you can relate to what’s going on in one another’s lives, yet be different enough that you don’t feel in direct competition.

Tip #3: Be open with your goals. Be willing to share your specific goals with your goal buddy: when you’d like to retire, if you plan to launch an encore career, where you’d like to live, how much time you want to spend with the grandkids, new hobbies you’d like to try, even your concerns about money. Also talk openly and honestly about how you’d like to see your life unfold, even if what you envision seems pie-in-the-sky today.

Tip #4: Agree on the rules. Will you check in once a week or once a month? Via Zoom, phone or email? Will you focus on career goals, family goals or both? What happens if one person needs a time out?

Tip #5: Track your progress. Whether you give yourself a gold star every time you crawl into bed without your phone or keep a running list of all the people you conduct informational interviews with, making your progress visible will keep your goals top of mind.

Tip #6: Ask for help. Talk to your goal buddy about your progress, what’s going well and what’s holding you back. Also ask for—and offer—help.

Tip #7: Celebrate success. Have you or your goal buddy reached an important milestone? Congratulations! Be sure to celebrate your success in whatever way is meaningful to you.

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and editor, and the author of What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It. She’s tapped into the power of her goal buddies to learn Spanish, pay off debt and run a marathon.

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Business Insider’s List of Innovative Career Coaches

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Need to revamp, recharge or even re-invent? In times like these, standard approaches just won’t do. Career coaching can have a big impact.

Joe Casey, an executive coach in Princeton, NJ, who also helps people create meaningful second careers, was included in a piece in Business Insider of innovative career coaches who are making a difference.

All good things eventually come to an end – and that may include your primary career. The good news is that indeed there is life after the corporate world. However, when you’re pivoting to a second career in turbulent times, you’ll need savvy planning. And you’ll want to explore the range of options where your skillset can be leveraged. Finally, you’ll want to ensure that your next venture fits well with your priorities and values.

Mid-career professionals face an increasingly challenging work environment. And it’s been compounded by the extra headwinds of 2020. It’s time to take ownership of your future. And that means thinking beyond your job. You’ll need a holistic approach that takes the full scope of your life into account.

If you’re a mid-career professional who’s planning your next move or someone pondering a second-act career or portfolio life, going it alone is always an option. But working with the right partner can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. Find the coach that’s best for you.

MOLDING GREATNESS: Meet 23 career coaches who helped shape leaders into stars at the likes of Goldman Sachs and Google

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Read the full article on Business Insider:

https://bit.ly/2HAxG6U (Premium Content)

Excerpts:

Source: Business Insider in MOLDING GREATNESS: Meet 23 career coaches who helped shape leaders into stars at the likes of Goldman Sachs and Google – September 24th, 2020. https://bit.ly/2HAxG6U (Premium Content)

Retiring? Congratulations! You’ve Got Seniority!

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By Dr. Thelma Reese

“I’m Retired!” What does that mean? The word has definitely lost its meaning. In fact, it’s time to retire the word “retired.” Retirement used to immediately signify either an arbitrary age — usually sixty-five, or whether or not one was still being paid to work. It could imply, however, any one of a whole range of conditions, from having the wealth to maintain one’s lifestyle to physical or mental senescence forcing an end to life in the
workplace; or unwanted termination from a successful career to voluntary withdrawal from a no-longer satisfying one. The term definitely brought with it the suggestion of removal from something and of an endpoint in one’s life — perhaps the signal of a final stage of life.


Today, retirement generally means leaving some kind of paid work — in other words, retiring from something. But using the term is insufficient, however, when it is applied to a time in one’s life. Today, the word needs the accompanying preposition: “to.” We don’t just retire from something; most of us retire to something else. It may even be to another income-producing activity. In fact, just describing oneself as “retired” is embarrassing. It says, “I’ve stopped. I have nothing to do that’s worth talking about. I’ve
disengaged from activity that matters or would be of interest to anyone else.”

What Does Being Retired Look Like?


Images fade slowly. We still can see in our minds’ eyes (and in well-aimed commercials) happy, even complacent old people rocking contentedly; or in more recent ads, vigorous grey-haired seniors playing contentedly, reflecting an inner sense of well-earned serenity and fulfillment, passing time until Forever arrives. And definitely not making waves. Pretty pictures, just before Forever peeks over the horizon, assuring us of our
idealized place and role in society.


For most of us, things changed a few decades before the current upheaval became manifest. The images of being retired were shattered by:

  • Longer life expectancy
  • Increased visibility (our burgeoning numbers)
  • Continued mental energy and emotional development
  • Recognition of the value of our own life experience
  • Concern for future generations
  • Awareness of critical problems affecting everything from our neighborhood to outer space
  • Connecting and contributing in ways we never dreamed of (except in science fiction)
  • Ageism rearing its ugly head Anger at being ignored

In these times, when the world needs all hands on deck, the disengagement that “retirement” once evoked seems wrong. We need to seize the opportunities and meet responsibilities that are here for each of us.

If We Aren’t in Retirement, Where Are We?

Now that we have worked at jobs and/or careers we loved, hated, or tolerated; have raised families or helped others do it, or made our own way on our own; have searched for, found, lost meaning, found it again, or search still; marvel at all we survived; loved, lost, mourned, and loved again, we have arrived at seniority. Not that we earned it; we got here by living. We have arrived at the state of privilege the term suggests.

This place of seniority carries with it an aura of respect — even esteem — that acknowledges experience. The senior partner, the senior officer, the senior student: status and rank are implied in seniority. Also implied is responsibility.

In this age of upheaval, the emerging presence and voice of seniors can be a source of strength, inspiring and merging with the power of the generations that follow. When we listen, engage, and demonstrate the capacity to change we have learned from experience; and when we model resilience, embrace new ideas, and apply the lessons of experience, we are necessary central players in the change our world needs.

Retirement is over. The idleness of retirement is over. The action of seniority has arrived.

Dr. Thelma Reese is the author of The New Senior Woman and The New Senior Man and creator of the blog, www.ElderChicks.com. She’s a retired professor of English and Education, the former spokesperson for Hooked on Phonics, and has long been active in national and Philadelphia-based educational and cultural initiatives. She is the author, with BJ Kittredge, of the new book, How Seniors Are Saving the World: Retirement Activism to the Rescue!

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Listen to Our Podcast Conversations with Dr. Reese

How Seniors Are Saving the World With Activism – Thelma Reese

The Unique Challenges Men and Women Face in Retirement – Thelma Reese

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This article is republished with permission from the author. It was originally published at New Spirit Journal and in Thrive Global.

Say Hello to Your Future Self

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by Bev Bachel

Actor Jim Carrey wrote his future self a $10-million check for “acting services rendered.”

Polar explorer Ann Bancroft spent her days in a walk-in freezer to prepare her future self to ski across Antarctica.

Singer Jennifer Hudson named her dogs Grammy and Oscar as a reminder that she had award-winning plans for her future self.

By focusing on their future selves and their hopes and dreams, these individuals nudged the universe in their favor, and you can, too.

You, only better.

Back when I first began thinking about retirement, I attended a presentation by Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist, Stanford University lecturer, and author of The Willpower Instinct.

During her presentation, she stressed that willpower is a competition between our present self, who acts impulsively to satisfy immediate needs, and our future self, who aspires to be better, someone who
puts our long-term well-being ahead of short-term satisfaction.

She also said that most of us, at some point, throw our future selves under the bus by giving in to what our present selves want right now. Think about it. We all know saving for retirement is important. Yet, about half of households age 55 and older have no retirement savings. [1]

And while everyone says their health is important, 70 percent of U.S.
adults are overweight, which puts both their present and future health at risk. So, how do you bring your present self into focus so you stop putting off the very things your future self will thank you for?

Here are five suggestions:

Let your mind wander. But rather than letting it run wild, put it on a leash by engaging in “positive constructive daydreaming” wherein you plan and rehearse what’s to come, concentrating on playful, empowering activities that will make your future self happy. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Add as much detail as you can.

Name yourself. On New Year’s Day 1999, I attended a “nudge the universe” workshop with two friends. As part of the workshop, we were asked to choose a new name for ourselves that reflected our dreams for the new century. I chose Author Artist, and within 12 months I had signed a contract for my first book.

Solicit input. Ask friends, family, and colleagues what they imagine your future self doing in the years and decades ahead. Do they see you continuing to live in your current home, downsizing to a smaller place, or adding a second home in a different climate? Or perhaps they envision you transitioning from full-time to more flexible work options before you retire completely, or giving up your career altogether in favor of a long-held dream such as becoming a graphic novelist or joining the Peace Corps.

Rethink what you own. We are what we wear, but so often our clothes reflect who we used to be, not who we want to become. And sometimes the homes and possessions that once brought us joy become burdens. One easy way to start letting go of your past self is by asking, “Is this something my future self would wear, own, or enjoy doing?” If not, let it go.

Create a vision board. What do you want your life to be like in the next three to five to 50 years? Cut out words and images from magazines that capture your vision and glue them on poster board. Then, put your vision board where you’ll see it often, ideally each morning when you wake up and each night before you go to bed. Or, create a for-your-eyes-only vision board on Pinterest.

A picture worth 100 years

If you’re looking to have a bit of fun with your future self, try out AgingBooth, a free app that enables you to instantly see what you might look like 10, 20, even 50 years from now. Although the aged photos the app generates are for “entertainment purposes only,” seeing yourself aging well (or looking like hell?) at 75, 85, or 100 may motivate you to do just what McGonigal advises: take better care of your self today.

And for that, your future self will thank you.

Bev Bachel is a freelance writer and the author of  What Do You Really Want? How to Set a Goal and Go for It! A Guide for Teens. She pictures her future self living in Paris.

[1] https://www.thebalance.com/average-retirement-savings-by-age-4155888

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